Saturday, June 30, 2007

Tom Sizemore

Tom Sizemore is a versatile actor who has acting in many major motion pictures since the late 1980s. Born in 1961, Sizemore is known for his intense character portrayals. He has had notable roles in popular movies such as Passenger 57, True Romance, Heat, Enemy of the State, Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down, and Paparazzi, to name just a few.

I personally thought that Sizemore was perfect in Heat, Enemy of the State, and Paparazzi. He played villains in all three and made his characters very believable and very unlikable. Sizemore is arguably one of the underrated actors of his generation.

Sizemore also fronts the Hollywood rock band Day 8. The band, formed in 2002, has recorded a 4-song EP. Several of the band's practically unlistenable songs can be heard on the band's MySpace page.

Sizemore has achieved enviable professional and monetary success through his acting roles and should be, metaphorically speaking, living on Cloud 9. Sizemore, however, apparently has had difficulty living under the spotlight, has succumbed to various addictions, and is dealing with serious anger management issues and an unsightly body that appears to become fatter and more disgusting every I see a new picture of him.

Sizemore was convicted in 2003 of assault and battery against his girlfriend, the former "Hollywood Madam" Heidi Fleiss. Fleiss' testimony in the case was rather shocking and Sizemore was sentenced to 17 months in jail and four months in drug treatment in March 2005 for repeatedly failing drug tests while on probation.

Sizemore has also had other well-publicized run-ins with the law. In 2005, he tried to manipulate his required drug tests by using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack. The temperature of the urine sample proved too cool to have come from his body, and he was asked to remove his pants. Sizemore had been caught once before trying to use a similar device, sold over the Internet under the brand name the “Whizzinator”, and had failed drug tests on at least five occasions. Sizemore subsequently failed two drug tests on the days following the fake penis incident, showing he had methamphetamines in his system.

On May 8, 2007, while still on probation for a previous drug conviction, Sizemore was again arrested outside the Four Points Sheraton hotel in Bakersfield, California. Police found what appeared to be two bags of methamphetamines and three meth pipes in his 2004 Ford Mustang. Police were called after parole and dealer Jason Salcido challenged a hotel employee to a fight after being refused check-in. Police found a meth pipe on Salcido and found Sizemore waiting in his car outside the hotel. On June 25, Sizemore was sentenced to 16 months in prison. Sizemore's sentence was cut in half, to 8 months, two days later, on June 27.

Sizemore is also one of many washed up stars (see e.g., Dustin Diamond) to have a sex tape released to the public. On August 18, 2005, about eight hours of a celebrity sex tape starring Sizemore was published on the Internet. The material has since become available on DVD. In seeking to recover money from sales of the tape, Sizemore claimed that his battles with the law have decimated his personal fortune, leaving him homeless and with a mere $8 to his name.

Sizemore has also recently appeared in his own reality TV series on VH1, Shooting Sizemore. In the series Sizemore shows the world just how washed-up he has become as he battles his legal issues, drug addictions, and weight gain. For this and reasons discussed above, Tom Sizemore is one washed-up celebrity!

FYI, in researching Sizemore, I discovered this picture of him holding hands with Val Kilmer at a movie premier. I always thought that Sizemore was as straight as an arrow, but now I'm not so sure, as this photo raises doubts about Sizemore's hetero street cred.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal, born April 10, 1951, is an action movie actor best known for his unique brand of martial arts used in his films. Seagal is a 7th-dan black belt in aikido and as a young adult was an aikido instructor in Japan before moving to Los Angeles, California at which point he was noticed by entertainment executives who gave him his first movie role in Above The Law in 1988.

Seagal played a Chicago cop investigating a drug ring in Above The Law. The film was a moderate success, bringing in $18 million in box office receipts in the U.S. Seagal later acted in other successful action flicks as a tough guy cop, including Hard To Kill and Out For Justice. Out For Justice includes one of Seagal's most famous scenes, where he shows up at a bar frequented by low life criminals and proceeds to beat up about 15 of them without the use of a gun. Instead, he uses his fists, pool cues, and a billiard ball to put the hurt on the bad guys who generally only attack him one-at-a-time. In his most famous line in the movie, he keeps asking, "Anybody seen Richie?" to the bar's criminal patrons as he searches for Richie Madano, a violent drug dealer.

Seagal parlayed these roles in late-1980s to early-1990s action movies into a starring role as a former Navy SEAL who stops a group of mercenaries on a U.S. Navy battleship in the 1992 blockbuster, Under Siege, a movie that brought in over $156 million in worldwide box office receipts.

Under Siege was released at the pinnacle of Seagal's career. He was a popular movie star known for his long hair/mullet and his calm and relaxed demeanor he displayed while engaging in fighting scenes. He was in great physical shape at this time and was somewhat of an unconventional sex symbol, as evidenced by his then marriage to the supermodel Kelly LeBrock.

Unfortunately for Seagal, his career collapsed during the mid-1990s and has yet to recover. One of Seagal's problems is that he was typecast and generally played the same type of characters in all of his movies - his characters were typically brooding tough cops or engaged in some other kind of law enforcement. Seagal also fell victim to gluttony, seemingly eating every piece of greasy food in sight. Seagal must have gained close to 100 lbs of fat since the mid-1990s and is practically unrecognizable now. He is obese and his abuse of fatty foods in reminsecent of that of fellow washed-up celebrity Dennis Haskins.

Reports have also surfaced that Seagal has been rough on stuntmen. During the filming of 2001's Exit Wounds, he injured a number of stuntmen and his co-star, DMX. According to Steven Quadros, a fight trainer, Seagal has been known to "kick guys in the nuts to see if they were wearing cups." Seagal was also at the center of an incident in which stuntman and judo master Gene Lebell confronted Seagal over this abuse of stuntmen and reportedly put Seagal into a Shime-Waza (i.e., "sleeper") hold, choking Seagal unconscious.

Seagal also allegedly has ties to the Mafia. The Italain Mafia apparently wanted to finance several action movies in which Seagal was to star. When Seagal informed the mobsters that he didn't want to act in these action movies, the mobsters paid Seagal a visit during a shakedown in which Seagal was "petrified," and probably came close to crapping his pants (and understandibly so).

Seagal was eager to cover up his relationship with the mafia and hired disgraced Hollywood private investigator Anthony Pelicano to thwart an Los Angeles Times expose on his ties to the Mafia. A Los Angeles Times reporter, Anita Busch, found a dead fish with a rose in its mouth on her punctured windshield. A note found under the fish said, "STOP!" Alexander Proctor, an ex-con, told an informant that he'd been hired by Pelicano on behalf of Seagal. Seagal later denied any involvement in this incident when he testified at a trial on one of the mobsters in 2003.

Seagal's career is now in the toilet. Unbeknownst to the general public, he has apparently continued acting over the past few years. However, almost all of his movies now go straight to video. For this and the other reasons discussed above, Steven Seagal is one washed up celebrity!

Update - June 24, 2007

Here is a clip of Seagal's great fight scene from Out For Justice that I discovered on YouTube:

Update - August 19, 2007

Seagal blames the FBI for his washed up career
and believes that allegedly false allegations by FBI agents beginning in 2002 ruined his career. Seagal told the Los Angeles Times, "False FBI accusations fueled thousands of articles saying that I terrorize journalists and associate with the Mafia. These kinds of inflammatory allegations scare studio heads and independent producers -- and kill careers." Seagal also demanded an apology from the FBI.

It's funny that Seagal is blaming his woes on the FBI. He's been washed up since the mid-late 1990s and became obese long before the FBI made any statements, true or false, about him. Seagal's recent whiney claims help prove, beyond any reasonable doubt, that he definitely washed up!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Dustin Diamond (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance - Episode VIII)

Episode VIII (Season Finale) - June 17, 2007

The eighth, and final, episode of Celebrity Fit Club began at the same track stadium as did the first episode. Dustin Diamond was being a super-bitch as usual and said that he wasn’t going to over-exert himself. As he had many times previously, Diamond was dead weight to his team. He said, “I’m not giving it my all… I could do more, but I don’t think I’m gonna.

Maureen McCormick was upset with Diamond and asked him to not give up. Diamond replied, “It’s not giving up, it’s quitting.” Diamond appeared to be enjoying piss off his teammates by quitting. Diamond claimed that Maureen selfishly wanted Diamond to continue in the track events. He said, “You wanted me to go for your benefit.” As Maureen pled with Diamond to continue competing, Diamond rudely said to Maureen, "I feel like you're trying to talk me into bed."

Diamond subsequently threatened to screw over his team by not showing up at the season finale’s weigh-in. Diamond said, “I could not show up tomorrow and everybody is screwed.” Maureen said, “Dustin pissed me off. This is the last event and he’s walking away.

Harvey called Diamond a "cockroach" and said he had hardly any respect for him. Da Brat mentioned, “Boy, if I see him on the street, I’m gonna have to fuck him up.

Diamond told Ross the Intern that he managed to keep to the strategy he laid out in the first episode (i.e., of losing weight despite eating crap and not working out). Ross replied, “You also managed to make seven other people not like you very much.

At the end of the track and field segment, Diamond said, “Am I an ass because of the way I deliver the truth or am I an ass because I speak the truth?” Diamond also said, “I would rather eat a turd than come back to another Fit Camp. It doesn’t even have to be a human turd … just a turd.” It was unclear as to whether Diamond would eat a turd unleashed by fellow washed-up celebrity Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding from Saved by The Bell).

Next, the entire cast was shown in the weigh-in room for the final time. During Kimberly Locke’s weigh-in, Kimberley complained about Diamond’s behavior on the show. Diamond was clearly annoyed, as he kept making faces while Kimberley was talking.

Diamond was the last person to be weighed. When Ant called his name to walk up to the scale, Diamond said, “D-man walking … that’s the truth.” Apparently that comment was meant to be funny, but nobody was laughing. Diamond had a good weigh-in, losing 13 pounds, mostly likely due to the fat burners he admitted to taking during the previous episode’s weigh-in ceremony.

When Dr. Ian Smith told Diamond he should try to lose weight in a healthier manner, Diamond became very combative in an almost childlike way. Diamond claimed that Smith was upset that he lost so much weight by eating crap because that would somehow hurt the sales of Smith’s diet books.

Stacey Kaiser, the show’s psychotherapist, told Smith not to argue with Diamond because Diamond was nothing more than an “isolated, lonely guy.

A video clip of Diamond making fun of Da Brat and Cledus Judd was subsequently played. Diamond wore a wig that resembled Princess Leia’s hairdo from Star Wars (it was supposed to resemble Da Brat) and pretended to be Da Brat. He said, “All I know is my nuts is killing me.

Diamond subsequently put on another wig and pretended to be Cledus. The Cledus wig had only a few hairs on it and was apparently meant to poke fun at the hair plugs that Cledus appears to have gotten during the course of the season. While pretending to be Cledus, Diamond said, “[I] got my plugs… You got ta do it… Don’t get me talking about my daughter … my daughter! Waahaa!!!” Diamond also did some fake crying to make fun of Cledus’ typical fragile emotional state.

Cledus was irate with Diamond and stood up and started walking toward the scale. Cledus said, “Fuck you! … You’re a loser, Dustin.” Meanwhile, Harvey said to Cledus, “He ain’t worth it. This piece of shit is out of here!” During this exchange that Diamond completely provoked, Diamond started complaining about a “hostile work environment” and said, “My lawyer is gonna be on the phone immediately.”

Everyone was up in arms with Diamond’s childish and unprovoked attacks on Cledus and Da Brat. Stacey Kaiser said, “It wasn’t funny. It was sad.” Da Brat mentioned, “Your stupid ass thought it was funny. It's not funny. Nobody laughed.” Diamond was proud of himself and said to Harvey, “I am a winner tonight.” Harvey replied, “I have no respect for you. Now get the fuck off the scale.

The entire cast was subsequently instructed to head outside to the large balance scale. Diamond was frightened by Cledus and snuck out a side door to avoid a confrontation with the other cast members. As the teams were weighed on the scale, Ant announced that Diamond’s team had won due to the hard work of Tiffany, Maureen, and Ross the Intern. It was notable that Ant did not give any praise to Diamond.

At the end of the episode, an interview with Da Brat was shown where she had some choice words for Diamond. Da Brat said,

"Dustin showed the true person that he is, and I guess that’s an asshole. He needs attention. His life is miserable. Nobody wants to cast Screech. You know what I’m saying? So, I’m sorry. It’s not our fault. Don’t take it out on other people. We’re proud of what we’ve done. We’ve had great success here. We love the show. We love everybody else except him, and I’ve met amazing people and it’s been a wonderful ride."

The season ended and it was obvious that everyone hated Diamond. I was amazed at what an ass he was on the show. It's obvious that Diamond deserves all of the ridicule he receives on the Internet and in real life. Diamond expects everyone to kiss his ass because he played the annoying Screech. Unfortunately for Diamond, nobody respects him for playing Screech.

***Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode II

Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VII
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond - (2000 - Present)
Dustin Diamond - (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance)

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Stephen Geoffreys

Stephen Geoffreys is one of the most washed-up celebrities I have come across. I didn't even know who he was until someone posted a suggestion in a comment to this blog that I do a profile on Geoffreys. When I researched him, I was amazed at how low his career had sunk. Geoffreys morphed from being a mildly successful mid-1980s movie star to a feature actor in gay porn, all within the matter of a few years. (There has been much speculation that the career of fellow washed up celebrity Dustin Diamond will follow a similar trajectory, although as far as I know Diamond has not yet taped any gay porn.)

Geoffreys was born Stephen Geoffrey Miller on November 22nd, 1964 in Cincinnati, Ohio. Geoffreys first began acting at a performing arts high school in Cincinnati and attended acting classes at New York University. Geoffreys gave an inspired performance as the annoying horror movie geek "Evil" Ed Thompson in the movie Fright Night.

Geoffreys displayed his comedic talents with his roles as Williams in Heaven Help Us and the dorky Wendell in Fraternity Vacation. Other memorable roles include persecuted wimp Hoax in 976-Evil, hardened inmate Roach in the crappy haunted prison flick The Chair, and slimy drug dealer Cookie in Moon 44. Geoffreys also had guest appearances on the mid-1980s TV shows Amazing Stories and The Twilight Zone.

Geoffreys' mainstream roles began to dry up by the early 1990s. Desperate to make some cash and return to the limelight, Geoffreys decided that his best career option was to move into gay porn. From the early 1990s continuing thru the beginning of the 2000s, Geoffreys appeared almost exclusively in numerous gay pornography films, where he was usually credited as "Sam Ritter" or "Stephan Bordeaux." It is not clear how many pornographic films he made because he apparently appeared in some uncredited. Geoffreys generally played the part of the bottom. He has appeared in gay porn flicks such as Mechanics bi Day, Lube Job bi Night, Latin Crotch Rockets, Transsexual Prostitutes 2, Guys Who Crave Big Cocks, and Seamen Training Day.

Geoffreys is apparently trying to return to mainstream cinema. He has a role in the upcoming horror movie Sick Girl. Here is a picture of Geoffreys on the Sick Girl set with co-star Leslie Andrews and the writer/director Eben McGarr (Writer/Director). Geoffreys is the bald guy on the right side of the picture. Apparently the gay porn lifestyle has not been kind to Geoffreys, as he looks far older than his actual age of 42.

For the reasons discussed above, Stephen Geoffreys is one washed-up celebrity!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Dustin Diamond (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance - Episode VII)

Episode VII - June 10, 2007

The seventh episode of Celebrity Fit Club began at a BMX dirt bike racing course. Harvey informed the cast members that Dustin Diamond was returning to the show that day and everyone was upset. Tiffany said “Throwing Dustin in the mix is like sentencing us to death. Really, you know … it’s terrible.Da Brat mentioned, “It was just so nice without him.

When he showed up, he offered no explanation for his absence from the previous episode. Harvey told Diamond, “Personally I don’t think you deserve any more attention than a freaking cockroach.

During the BMX race, the men on the teams raced against each other, followed by the women racing against themselves. During warm-up laps, Diamond showed just how weak and out of shape he was when he fell off of his bike. Diamond clearly realized that he was a complete wimp and started pretending that he was sick, laying the groundwork for his eventual weak excuse following his pathetic performance in the bike race. Harvey didn’t believe Diamond’s excuses and said, “He’s full of shit. There’s nothing wrong with him.

After the warm-up laps, the men raced against each other. Diamond’s effort was absolutely awful and he showed the world that he is a 100% pussy as he was smoked by Cledus, Warren G, and Ross the Intern in the race, finishing a distant fourth place in the race. Diamond was supposed to race a second time, but he wanted to wimp out and quit. He claimed that he was sick and wanted a “sick pass” so that he wouldn’t have to race the course a second time. The show’s doctor examined Diamond and said that Diamond’s pulse was normal and he seemed to be ok to compete. Absolutely nobody believed Diamond’s excuses that he was too dizzy and sick to compete and Diamond eventually returned to the starting line for a second race.

During the second race, Diamond quickly fell far behind and then gave up and got off of his bike and quit. In quitting, Diamond showed that he’s an even bigger joke and loser in real-life than his old character Screech was on Saved By The Bell. When Diamond quit, Harvey said, “You gotta be shitting me. That is fucking pathetic!

After the second race, Cledus, the winner of the race, seemed to be annoyed that Diamond was getting so much camera time despite his pathetic efforts. Da Brat said, “We’ve seen him quit before. It’s nothing new.

Next, the cast was shown entering into the weigh-in room on the next day. It was kind of funny because Diamond appeared to be 100% healthy, despite his protestations the day before that he was too sick to compete in the bike race. Diamond was wearing an obnoxious shirt that read “Star of the Show.” When asked later about the shirt, Diamond said, “I like this shirt. I’m all about truth and logic. I’m back and I’m dressed to kill.

Everyone who saw Diamond’s shirt when he walked in had annoyed looks on their faces. Ant asked Ross and Tiffany what they thought about Diamond’s return to the show, and both indicated that they thought that Diamond had rudely disrespected their Fit Club team.

Kimberley Locke was the first person to be weighed in. When asked about Diamond’s return, she poked fun at what a pathetic loser he is and said that Diamond’s return to the show would make it easier for her team to win. The clear implication, of course, was that Diamond was dead weight and that his chunky ass would drag down his team.

Cledus was one of the next people weighed in. When Cledus found out he lost his entire target weight for the show, he was so happy that he said he was going to go outside and jump in the pool. Everyone except Diamond followed Cledus outside to the pool, into which Cledus and Kimberley did jump. As he stayed behind, Diamond said, “I’ve seen someone jump in a pool before.

Diamond was the last person to be weighed. Diamond lost the five pounds he had gained during his previous appearance on the show, and his weight dropped to 200 lbs. When asked how he lost the weight, Diamond said that he had been taking Zantrax-3, a fat burning supplement. When he mentioned his supplement use, Warren G was livid, and considered Diamond’s drug usage to constitute cheating.

During his weigh-in, Harvey asked Diamond if he wanted to do a boot-camp workout prior to the final episode of the show. Diamond obnoxiously claimed that he would have to check his schedule book and get back to Harvey. Harvey was annoyed with Diamond for acting so self-important and pretending like he was too busy to know whether he had time for a single workout.

Finally, the episode ended and a preview was shown of the upcoming season finale. Apparently Diamond dresses up as Cledus and Da Brat and films video clips of himself mocking both of them. The video clips are played during the final weigh-in and Cledus looks like he’s ready to punch Diamond in the face and put his foot up Diamond’s ass. As Cledus approaches Diamond after the clip is played, Diamond starts threatening to sue Cledus. Dustin Diamond is such a loser! I cannot wait to see the final episode.

***Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode II

Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VIII
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond - (2000 - Present)
Dustin Diamond - (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance)

Friday, June 08, 2007

Jeffrey Jones

Jeffrey Jones, born on September 28, 1946, is a very tall character actor best known for his enormous forehead and for his roles as Emperor Joseph II in Amadeus and as Principal Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Jones was nominated for a Golden Globe for his role in the Academy Award winning Amadeus. Anyone who was a kid or young teen during the mid-1980s probably remembers Jones best as Ed Rooney, an obsessive and crazy high shcool principal who was out to get Ferris Bueller, the title character character of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Jones has also appeared in many other major motion pictures over the past 20+ years, including Beetle Juice, Houseguest, and Sleepy Hollow. Jones has received much acclaim during his career for his intense acting abilities.

Many people engage in hobbies as an outlet for relieving stress in a productive way. Jones, however, apparently has a dangerous and disgusting hobby - viewing child pornography. In 2003, Jones was arrested for possession of child pornography and employing a 14-year-old boy to pose for pornographic photographs. Jones pled no contest to the felony charges and was ordered to undergo counseling and register as a sex offender. In July 2004, he was arrested by Florida police after failing to notify them of his change of residence. He has since been sued in civil court by the minor, who is now an adult.

Jones has also packed on quite a bit of weight and has become a total tank-ass, topping the scales at 275lb, much like fellow washed-up celebrity Dennis Haskins. Here is an image of part of Jones' Florida sexual offender flyer.

For the reasons set forth above, Jeffrey Jones is one washed-up celebrity!