Saturday, September 22, 2007

Bronson Pinchot

Bronson Pinchot is an actor best known for his role as "Balki Bartokomous" in the ABC family sitcom Perfect Strangers from 1986–1993. Pinchot was born on May 20, 1959 in New York City, New York with the birth name Bronson Alcott Poncharavsky.

Although born in New York, Pinchot was raised in southern California. After graduating from South Pasadena High School, he headed back east and attended Yale University. He initially studied painting in college, but quickly became interested in acting. Pinchot began his acting career with bit roles in successful movies such as Risky Business (1983) and Beverly Hills Cop (1984). His role in Beverly Hills Cop as "Serge," a gay assistant art dealer with a thick foreign accent, was memorable and put him on the map.

Beverly Hills Cop was an international success and shortly after the movie hit the theatres Pinchot was cast as Balki Bartokomous on Perfect Strangers. The character Balki was a shepherd from the (fictional Greek) island nation of Mypos. Balki had a thick foreign accent and lived his entire life in a small farming community until he moved into an apartment in Chicago with his distant cousin "Larry Appleton" (played by Mark Linn-Baker).

The sitcom focused on Balki's naive and idealistic view of the world, as well as his chronic misunderstandings of American culture. Balki's catch phrase on the show was, "Of course not, don't be ridiculous!" and was usually spoken flamboyantly in response being accused of doing something. He also performed the "Dance of Joy" with his cousin Larry whenever he was happy, as shown below:

I actually liked Pinchot on Perfect Strangers. His character carried that show and was the primary reason for its success. However, Pinchot's career hit the skids after the show ended and has yet to recover. He did manage to secure a full-time role on Step By Step for one season, but that was in 1997, at the end of that show's run, when its popularity was rapidly fading.

Pinchot’s most notable role of the past 10 years was in 2005 on the fifth season of The Surreal Life, with other washed-up stars. Pinchot came across as a pathetic man on The Surreal Life. I honestly had always assumed he was gay, based on his effeminate and flamboyant roles in Beverly Hills Cop and Perfect Strangers that made him a star. However, after watching a few episodes of The Surreal Life, it is clear to me that Pinchot is not gay. Instead, he is a dirty old man who probably has to pay for sex.

During his appearance on The Surreal Life, he immediately took a fancy to the women on the show. When he initially arrived at The Surreal Life house, he informed everyone that his agent warned him against doing anything that could be construed as sexual harassment because apparently he’s “a very horny dude.

Shortly after arriving on the set, he gave fellow castmate Janice Dickenson an extended hug and apparently groped her, against her will, causing her to burst into tears and almost quit the show. Despite Dickenson's obvious disgust for Pinchot, after the incident he actually said, "I believed in my heart Janice and I will hook up somehow. I liked her hoarse voice and I liked her tough-ass thing. I think the sex would be amazing... I never groped her."

Dickenson managed to get in her two cents, saying,

"I don’t like this guy. This guy is a gimp motherfucker. I made it very clear to the producers that I would not be groped or molested or have sex with anyone—that was in my contract. The minute I walked in, Balki or whatever he’s called started groping me. A few days in he asked me, 'Why are you so angry?' And I said, 'At you? Because you’re a fucking pervert.'"

Pinchot also tried to hook up with fellow castmate Caprice Bourret, a lingerie model. Bronson sexually harassed Caprice in nearly every episode, practically begging her to have sex with him, thereby solidifying his new-found "dirty old man" image.

Pinchot’s entertainment career is definitely over and he apparently is unable to accept this fact. One would think that his appearance on The Tonight Show in the early 1990s when the audience booed him for telling extremely boring stories would have been a “wake up” call. However, as a result of his stalled career and the fact that he has morphed into a total pervert, Bronson Pinchot is definitely one washed-up celebrity!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Jodie Sweetin

Jodie Sweetin is a former child actor best known for her role as Stephanie Tanner on the family sitcom, Full House. Sweetin was born on January 19, 1982 and broke into acting at age 4. In 1986, she appeared in an Oscar Mayer hot dog commercial. She later had her first TV acting role in a guest spot on The Hogan Family as the niece of the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Poole. These early roles led to her starring role on Full House.

I personally thought that Full House was one of the crappiest shows I have ever seen on TV. I've never understood the appeal of Bob Saget, the father of the Tanner family on the show, and I sure don't remember him ever saying anything funny on any show on which he's ever appeared. However, my dislike of Bob Saget and the show notwithstanding, I will admit that Full House was very popular and it did manage to stay on the air for 8 seasons, from 1987-1995.

America saw Sweetin grow from a 5-year-old child up to a 13-year-old adolescent by the time the show was cancelled in 1995. Sweetin was a cute kid and was popular with many young girls and boys. However, unbeknownst to her loved ones, something was missing from her life that wouldn't become conspicuous until years later.

Sweetin graduated from high school in 1999 and then attended Chapman University from 1999–2003. She pledged Alpha Phi sorority and majored in mass communications, planning a show business career as an acting teacher. During her time in high school and in college, Sweetin occasionally made guest appearances on popular TV shows, including Brotherly Love, Party of Five, and Yes, Dear. She also did commercials for Cheerios, Kooshlings, Disneyland, and Sea World.

After college, Sweetin dated and eventually a married police officer and semi-pro tennis player named Shaun Holguin on July 27, 2002. Many of her former Full House castmates attended the ceremony. Here are pictures of her and Holguin from their wedding day:

Holguin looks like a clean-cut guy, but Sweetin was only 20 at the time she got married, and apparently wasn't ready for all of the responsibilities of marriage. She quickly bored of married life as her acting career fizzled, and she turned to drugs. By 2003, she had developed a daily addiction to crystal meth, which eventually became her sole purpose in life. Her husband claims to have been completely unaware of her addiction, although it is extremely difficult to believe that her husband could possibly be that much of an idiot to not notice that his wife was a junkie. Sweetin's addiction to crystal meth became so bad that five of her teeth eventually rotted away from the drug abuse. Luckily for her, she had the presence of mind to voluntarily check herself into rehab in 2005. She later appeared on Good Morning America in 2006 to discuss her addictions to drugs.

Her drug use put a tremendous amount of strain on her marriage and was undoubtedly embarrassing to her policeman husband. She and Holguin divorced in 2006.

Sweetin must have felt really lonely after her first husband left her, because she quickly hooked up with a heavily tattooed douche bag named Cody Herpin. Their relationship progressed quickly and they got married in July 2007. Sweetin is now pregnant with her first child.

According to IMDB, Herpin has been a driver and set designer on the sets of several shows. I question how long this marriage will last - Herpin looks like total dirtbag and loser. Sweetin claims to be completely sober right now, but I have to believe that she was on something when she married him. How long will it be until she gets bored with him?

In an effort to change her image, Sweetin has apparently fixed her rotted teeth and acquired huge breast implants. She looks hot, albeit in a somewhat slutty kind of way in the pictures below. However, she's trying to look her best to get back into acting roles. From July 2006 to 2007, Sweetin secured a job as host of the second season of Pants-Off Dance-Off, a TV-14 rated dance contest on Fuse TV that is probably watched by about 7 people. The program features amateurs stripping down to their underwear to their favorite music videos. I've never heard of the show, but she definitely has the perfect look to host a show with amateur strippers.

In view of her drug abuse, fizzled career, and marriage to an ugly loser, Jodi Sweetin is definitely one washed-up celebrity!

***Update - June 18, 2011 ***

Sweetin separated from Cody Herpin on November 19, 2008 and finalized a divorce with him on April 20, 2010. They had one daughter together. In their divorce proceedings, Herpin's lawyers alleged that Sweetin had returned to her drug abusing ways and the court issued a temporary custody ruling that required Sweetin to be in her mother’s presence while caring for her child.

Notwithstanding his tattoos, Herpin actually seems to have been the more normal and down-to-earth of the two in this marriage. Sweetin and Herpin eventually worked out their differences and Sweetin was given joint custody of their daughter and ordered to pay Herpin $600 per month in child support.

Sweetin has since gotten engaged to much older man, Morty Coyle, who is a celebrity DJ and is at least 13 years older than her. Sweetin gave birth to a baby with Coyle on August 31, 2010. Here are some pictures of Coyle - he shows off his class by making it appear as though he is taking a dump in the photo on the left.

Sweetin appears to be hell-bent on becoming white trash in the unlikely event that she isn't already. She has two children from different men. She's about to become married for the third time and she won't even be 30 years old until 2012. Each of her husbands/fiancees seem less desirable than the one before.

Sweetin should probably be seeing a psychiatrist because it is clear to me that she rushes into things and doesn't know what she really wants. I wonder whether her upcoming marriage will even last three years before she gets bored and leaves Coyle like she left her previous husbands.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Gary Glitter

Gary Glitter (born Paul Francis Gadd) is a flamboyant English rock and pop singer and songwriter who had a number of song chart successes in the 1970s, including Rock and Roll parts 1 & 2, I Love You Love Me Love, and I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am). Glitter was a renowned pop star, but he was supposedly hiding a dark and disturbing secret, a love of child pornography and molestation.

Glitter was born May 8, 1944 in Banbury, in the English county of Oxfordshire. He began performing on the British club circuit during his mid-teens in the late 1950s. His first break occurred when Robert Hartford Davis, a film producer looking to hit the music industry, discovered him and financed a recording session for the British Decca label. Glitter released his first single, Alone in the Night under the stage name Paul Raven in January 1960.

He achieved minor success while performing as Paul Raven. By 1970, several singles including Musical Man, Goodbye Seattle, and a version of George Harrison's Beatles song, Here Comes the Sun were selling well. He began performing under the name Gary Glitter in 1971 as the glam rock movement was becoming more popular.

Gary Glitter's name and career exploded when he created a fifteen-minute jam that was cut down to a pair of three-minute extracts, which Glitter and his music producer, Mike Leander, called Rock and Roll, Parts One and Two. Rock and Roll (Part Two) was the more popular cut and went to #2 on the British pop charts and hitting the Top Ten in the United States. Rock and Roll (Part Two) is still popular today and is often played at basketball games to fire up the crowd.

I always thought that Glitter was flaming gay. He wore flamboyant outfits and seemed very effeminate. However, his public persona was nothing more than an act because he's apparently sexually attracted to little kids, not men. In November 1997 Glitter was arrested after child pornography images were discovered on the hard drive of a personal computer he had taken to a PC store for repair. During the course of the repair, a technician accessed Glitter's image files to test the software and discovered the images.

Glitter was convicted of possession of child pornography in 1999 and was formally classified as a sex offender. Glitter served two months of a four-month sentence. He was also charged with having sex with an underage girl, Alison Brown, when she was 14 years old. Glitter was acquitted of this charge after it emerged that Brown had sold her story to News of the World and was going to earn more money from the newspaper on Glitter's conviction.

Glitter reportedly attempted to move to Cuba in 2000 to get away from the media’s intrusion into his perverted lifestyle, but was thwarted after the Cuban Consulate in London was tipped off and his picture and real name sent to all Cuban ports. He also began shaving his head and grew a pointy beard to round out his "dirty old man" image. He subsequently moved to Cambodia. There was a public uproar over his presence in Cambodia, causing Cambodian authorities to expel him in 2002, determining that he was “a threat to the security of a country and to the national image of Cambodia.” Glitter was jailed for three nights in Cambodia on suspicion of sex offences, but was not convicted of any crime.

Glitter later moved to Vietnam. On November 12, 2005, Gary Glitter fled his home in Vietnam, despite having applied for permanent residence in that country. Three days later, he was arrested in Ho Chi Minh City while trying to board a flight to Thailand. Six girls and women in Vietnam, aged 11 to 23, admitted to having sex with Glitter (the age of consent in Vietnam is eighteen).

After his arrest, Glitter was held on suspicion of having sex with two underage girls. Glitter was jailed throughout the criminal probe, which was completed on December 26, 2005. The charge of rape was dropped for, according to Glitter's lawyer, "lack of evidence,” although the singer admitted that an eleven-year-old girl had slept in his bed. If he had been convicted of child rape, he could have been sentenced to the death penalty by firing squad.

Glitter was tried on charges of committing obscene acts with two girls, aged 10 and 11, and could have faced up to fourteen years in prison if convicted. The trial opened on March 2, 2006 and ended the next day, upon which Glitter was found guilty as charged and sentenced to three years' imprisonment.

Glitter is currently in a Vietnamese jail and is probably planning his next lewd act. He has actually tried to justify his actions and has said, "I've done nothing wrong — there's nothing wrong with having a relationship with a 12-year-old girl if it’s consensual." For this and the other reasons discussed above, Gary Glitter is one washed-up (and perverted) celebrity!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Marc Price

Marc Price is a former child actor best known for his role as ├╝ber-dork Erwin "Skippy" Handleman on the hit 1980s sitcom Family Ties. Family Ties was a breeding ground for washed-up celebrities (e.g., see Brian Bonsall and Tina Yothers), and Price was certainly no exception to the rule. Price was born on February 23, 1966 and is the son of stand-up comedian Al Bernie. Price broke into acting in 1980 with a non-recurring role in the British TV show Julliet Bravo. A short time later Price acquired his career-defining role as Skippy Handleman on Family Ties.

The Skippy character was the best buddy of Alex P. Keaton (played by Michael J. Fox), who was generally accepted as the star of the show. Skippy provided comic relief on Family Ties and often did dumb things. However, unlike some other child actors, Price was actually funny as Skippy and was generally liked at the height of the show's popularity. Skippy's most famous episode was one in which he discovered that he was adopted by his parents, and then wanted to be referred to only as "Baby Boy Doe."

Family Ties was on the air for a long time, from 1982-1989. Although most of Price's efforts at the time were spent on Family Ties, Price did find the time to star as a metal-head in the 1986 horror movie Trick or Treat.

After the cancellation of Family Ties in 1989, Price quickly found another acting gig, this time as the host of the Disney Channel kids game show Teen Win, Lose or Draw from 1989-1992. However, after the cancellation of Teen Win, Lose or Draw in 1992, Price's career hit a major standstill. In an effort to keep busy, Price began touring as a standup comedian. He must not have wowed everyone as a standup comic, because he was once viscously attacked by a woman in Grand Rapids, Michigan, who "ferociously squeezed" his testicles while he was on tour.

Price has continued touring sporadically over the past 15 years in an apparent effort to re-enter the public limelight. In 2006 he even made an appearance on the reality TV show, Last Comic Standing, although he didn't make it past the first round.

Price has completely let himself go since the 1980s. He is becoming a complete tank-ass and has a rapidly widening gut, as shown in the picture below. He must also be sensitive about his advancing age, because his own MySpace page lists his age as "34," and his IMDB indicates that he was born in 1968, although as far as I can tell he was actually born in 1966, although he looks far older than 41. He is so desperate for money and attention that he is whoring himself on the washed-up celebrities website, Hollywood is Calling, offering to talk to people on the phone in exchange for a fee.

Price has several photos linked to his MySpace page. The picture below is of Price standing next to fellow washed-up celebrity Dustin "Screech" Diamond. Trying to free-ride off Screech is pathetic enough, but what is even worse is the fact that it appears as though Screech wasn't even standing next to Price when this picture was taken. I'm almost positive that I have seen this image of Screech previously and he wasn't standing near to Marc Price. In the image below, it looks like Price may have photo-shopped a picture of Screech to make it appear as though he was standing next to Screech. For this and the other reasons discussed above, Marc Price is one washed-up celebrity!