Sunday, October 29, 2006

Michael Oliver

Michael Oliver is the first washed up celebrity I will review. You may remember Oliver as the child actor who played "Junior" in the early 90s movies "Problem Child" and "Problem Child 2." This is a picture of Oliver from his Problem Child days:


I would have thought that Oliver would have parlayed his early starring roles into other movie roles or perhaps even a recurring role on a sitcom. However, Oliver has not had any decent roles since his Problem Child days. He is currently a roadie for the band, The Samples, and apparently spends a good portion of his time posting on the Internet Movie Database message boards under the login "Roadiepc." He has also grown his hair long and occasionally sports a long mullet as shown in his pictures below (in case you are wondering, he verified that these are pictures of him in his message board postings). All of this makes him one washed-up celebrity!





***Update - May 28, 2007 ***
I just discovered some information that might explain why Michael Oliver is so incredibly washed up. Apparently he had a contractual obligation with Universal Pictures to act in Problem Child 2 for $80,000 back in 1991. However, a mere few days before filming was to begin Michael's mother demanded $500,000 for his role in the movie or he would walk away. Universal Pictures had already spent a lot of money on pre-production and felt obligated to do whatever was necessary to keep Michael in the movie or it would lose around $4,000,000 on outlays that had already been made.

In 1993 Universal sued Michael for $190,000 for basically extorting the money from Universal, which had agreed to pay the money to Michael under duress. Universal Pictures won its court case after a trial and Michael had to return the extorted money!


***Update - January 1, 2008 ***
Michael Oliver used to have a bio listed on the website for The Samples that mentioned that he is a "Highly evolved old soul with a love of his lady and a passion for swords." Here is a picture of Oliver that was linked in the comments to this post. I guess that Oliver must enjoy swordfights!


*** Update - February 21, 2008 ***

Someone posted a link in the comments below to this apparently gay parody Michael Oliver blog: Gay Appreciation for Michael Oliver. My favorite post on that blog is one where someone wrote:

"Someone told me that they were at a Samples show and Micheal walked by him and he stunk of B.O. Does he have problems or is that just part of touring on the road with a band? He said he could smell his balls and ass from where he was standing."

*** Update - July 1, 2008 ***

A link to this recent picture of Michael Oliver was posted as a comment below. As one can see, Oliver appears to have cut his hair short at least on the sides. It appears as though he may have also kept the hair on top of his head long and pulled it back. Finally, he's either sitting in front of a tree or his red mullet is flaring out at the sides by his neck!

68 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eww - He looks like something from 'Lord of the Rings'

Anonymous said...

I took a nasty shit that was better looking then that guy!

Anonymous said...

Michael Oliverius is one of the biggest losers this planet has seen. He is deperate for attention, and visits the imdb message boards daily reporting posts he deems offensive. It's obvious that this guy can't take a joke, but he sure can take a cock. I hope he overdoses on heroin real soon.

Anonymous said...

I hope these photos were taken in 1998. Who the hell looks like that anymore?

Michael Oliver is gay said...

This guy sucks my balls. He moderates the whole internet to make sure nobody writes bad things about him. Fuck him in his gay ass. Also watch out, he may try to moderate this blog. Lord of the Anal Rings looking mother fucker.

Anonymous said...

He's been a bit quiet of late on iMDB - anyone know if he's 'resting'?

Anonymous said...

I think he's pretty hot actually - he looks the sort who'd be pretty kinky in the sack, although the ginger pubes would be a bit off-putting

Hughesman4 said...

I agree - he's definitely hot

Anonymous said...

Michael really needs a nice thick cock up his brownpipe...preferably mine!!

hughesman3 said...

I'm really gay for Michael, I hope he doesn't find out about it. I had to shout it out to the world, since I don't dare tell him on imdb, as he will delete it.

Anonymous said...

He looks like the love child of Chris Burke and Ronald McDonald at a ren fair gone wrong.

Rim Goblin said...

I want to put my sweaty smelly nutsack on his eye sockets to give him the Arabian goggles of a lifetime! I'd be sure to drag my nuts in dog shit before dropping them on his eyes. I'd also make sure I took a shit on his face. It would be a definite improvement. I wouldn't even urinate on this fucker if he was on fire! I bet him and the other roadie crew take turns fist fucking each other in the ass while the bands out gang banging Micheal's girlfriend in a huge spitroasting session which sometimes includes scat.

Anonymous said...

damn, he looks dirty.
too bad you can't delete this, michael.

Anonymous said...

I hope he had a good Christmas - keep the faith, M.O. x

Anonymous said...

dirty in a grubby way, or in a kinky sexual way...? *drool*

Anonymous said...

in a sick way.

Anonymous said...

Michael,

I have been locked inside of my bathroom, masturbating to your pictures for 3 days now. I have only left the bathroom twice; once to get my mail, and the other when it sounded like my cat was getting into a fight with another cat. The low-resolution printout photo of you sends me into a realm of hopeless despair. I scream your name and imagine you backhammering me while I spurt out my sour man-gravy. Let's make plans, Mikey.

ROADIEPC said...

He goes on the IMDB every single day. He himself even mentioned one of his posts he was going to stay quiet, but he'd be around. So, he just has been lurking around lately. He's there, people. He's there.

michael oliver is gay said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Movie Fan said...

Please don't spam this comments section with repetitive comments. I deleted the comment directly above by "Michael Oliver Is Gay" because a single paragraph was repeated about 50 times in a single comment.

Peter North said...

I want to shoot my creamy huge load all over his face.

michael oliver is gay said...

This guy sucks my balls. He moderates the whole internet to make sure nobody writes bad things about him. Fuck him in his gay ass. Also watch out, he may try to moderate this blog. Lord of the Anal Rings looking mother fucker.

Michael Oliver is gay - the real one said...

Hey imposter, use your own name and your own posts. Or should I say hughesman or Michael Oliver, since I suspect you're one of the other. I want to meet up for gay sex with you sometime. I will shove my hard HIV+ infested cock in your tight little ass while you jack off cum onto your stomach.

The ghost of John Ritter said...

Hey Michael you little faggot, are you still jacking off to pictures of Grimace and Fry Guy?

Anonymous said...

Is he gay then?

Anonymous said...

LOL @ the ghost of john ritter.

Anonymous said...

one word: FIRECROTCH

The ghost of John Ritter said...

BOOOOOOOOOO Michael you little ginger haired homo, we are coming for you. There is a special place waiting for you in hell. Jack and I both decided to get the PC gang together. I hope you are still into popping pills, snorting coke and taking a rod up the shit pipe, because that's whats awaiting you you silly red headed faggot.

JewveBeenFramed said...

I heard he had to get his stomach pumped because he swallowed so much spunk! Do you think he prefers the company of men?

Anonymous said...

It's funny how these child celebrities look cool back in the day and they grow up to look like a weirdo. It looks nothing like Michael Oliver to me.

Anonymous said...

hmmm....looks like the trolls that inhabited his board are here, too. lol.

it's pretty pathetic you people are going after someone who hasn't been in the spotlight for years and years.

Anonymous said...

The ghost of John Ritter said...

Hey Michael you little faggot, are you still jacking off to pictures of Grimace and Fry Guy?

January 04, 2007 1:36 PM

--------------------------

somehow, i think you are jacking off to everything being said here. you probably blow a load whenever you get a response from MO.

Anonymous said...

michael is trying to moderate your blog, lol.

Anonymous said...

Is it true he died? He hasn't been on imDB for ages now, and to be honest I'm getting a little concerned. Anyone know if 'Ole Red' is okay?

Anonymous said...

^^^ to the person above me, yes, the little ginger haired homo has been on the IMDB, but he has been pretty quiet. He lurks around, reporting messages he deems "offensive". just check his profile, he logs in every day, but he hasn't posted on the boards in a couple of months.

JewveBeenFramed said...

------
it's pretty pathetic you people are going after someone who hasn't been in the spotlight for years and years.
------

Actually he is fair game. If he wasn't on the IMDB and Wikipedia trying to stifle homosexual free speech, which we have had to fight for, then he would have remained "out of the spotlight".

In short, I will donkey punch you in the face then force your to suckle my large erect penis while you cry for you mom and then I will blow my diseased load in your eye until you go blind then I will lock you in my basement and use you as a sex toy.

Anonymous said...

here's his myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/roadiepc

Anonymous said...

Michael Oliver heavily edits his own Wikipedia page. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:RoadiePC

He deleted statements from his wikipedia bio that he is living in Johnson City, TN. He also deleted this: "he dropped out from public view, but attended Burbank High School in Burbank, California under a different name. He is the half-brother of actor Danny Ponce, who starred in the 1980s sitcom The Hogan Family."

It appears as though Michael Oliver made these edits: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/24.158.138.239

Anonymous said...

about 1% of the time i find myself gazing longingly into those big fucking hazel metallica-wannabe ginger eyes and i stroke myself until i make an awful sticky mess in my santa clause boxers. the other 99% of the time i remind myself that problem child was a fucking nigger that i wanted to strangle and, in the midst of my rage, i go as limp as wet spaghetti... having lost the essence of manhood that is "the erection" is some forbidden power that michael will always exude over me. he taunts me - with his rugged exterior, uber nerd-moderating forum presence, and greasy biker hair that glistens in the sun. until i find him and shoot a hot load into his ass, his influence on my life will be unbearable.

Anonymous said...

Michael Oliver Ponce sucks donkey balls and deletes every IMDB thread that makes him look bad. The only reason people post on his IMDB board is because people know that he reads the messages posted over there. That little bastard is a real punk.

Here's are some things he deleted from Wikipedia but cannot deleted from this website:

"[Michael Oliver] attended Burbank High School in Burbank, California under a different name. He is the half-brother of actor Danny Ponce, who starred in the 1980s sitcom 'The Hogan Family.' "

"Seen spending time in Johnson City, Tennessee, where he presumably now resides."

"Dates Jacquleyn Christenson."

Anonymous said...

That jerk also deleted this:

"As one blogger put it...'Never before in the history of underage thespianism has one kid crammed so much staggering badness into a single perplexing performance. From his razor wire voice that’s a combination of ventriloquist dummy and flu-ravaged coloratura, to his cardboard as character trait stiffness, and you’ve got the perfect remedy for the precocious, stage mothered bratling that’s typically featured in such hackneyed family fare. It’s all Oliver, his penguin in a pottiness shining above and beyond all the other rancid elements in this hair brained humoresque.'"

See http://www.popmatters.com/pm/blogs/shortends_post/4521/short-cuts-guilty-pleasures-problem-child-1990

Cock Puncher said...

He deleted everything of mine. To make matters worse, I can't even post ANY messages anymore on the IMDb.

If we can hang Saddam Hussein, we can hang Michael Oliver.

J said...

This buttmunch kinda looks like Dave Mustaine.

Anonymous said...

michael i think you turned out pretty damn good looking.

Gay Zack said...

I want to light his pubes on fire and put them out with my urine. Did I mention that I would eat asparagus before hand so it'll smell really bad. I'd also have my lover and I try to get both our cocks in your tight little ass - AT THE SAME TIME! It would be hot. I bet you could take 3 cocks in the ass at the same time if the guys could position themselves right.

Anonymous said...

I want to fart in is mouth!

Josh said...

SHELBS 25..... If you've ever read this idiot's posts on IMDB, he has nothing better to do but talk shit to Mr. Oliver. Shelbs 25 thinks he or she is tough when in front of a computer, but if shelbs 25 was standing in front of the people he talks shit to, he'd get his face stomped. Shelbs 25 likes to come on here posting comments using anonymous because he's just a loud mouth coward who can't accept and move on with the fact that he made himself look like a F@#%ing jackass on IMDB.
Frankly, Shelbs 25 is a an immature little child with a little weiner. There you go Shelbs 25, we all know you'll start talking shit about me and post how I'm gay now for saying anything. You know you can't resist,(little bitches can't you know).

Kurt said...

Josh, who is Shelbs 25? Post a link to one of his posts. I don't remember ever seeing any posts at IMDB by anyone with the login Shelbs_25.

JewveBeenFramed said...

Josh take your lovers tiff with shelbs 25 somewhere else. This comments page is for homosexuals to discuss their love and admiration for Michael Oliverus Ponce and what sexual position/act they would to do with/to him. Personally I would love to ninja star him which is the act of placing your large circumcised member in your lover's asshole and spin their little twink body around like a ninja star flying through the air!!!

Movie Fan said...

JewveBeenFramed, this is not a homosexual forum. This is a free-speech forum and I have been allowing non-spam posts. There are some gay celebrity forums (e.g., www.dustindiamondlove.com), but people from all walks of life and personal preferences are free to post here.

I suspect that so many comments have been posted about Michael Oliver because Oliver is a jerk in real life.

Anonymous said...

Wow.. its so sad how him
and the homealone kid
and the matilda kid and all of them
grow up to be loners.
they were SO CUTE when they were younger he was such a little cutie then he let himself go same with cullie mkulkin

From afar said...

he's grown from a raggidity ass face to a pube-faced metallica wannabe

Movie Fan said...

Uiversal sued Oliver for $190,000 in 1993 because he had renegeed on a promise to act in Problem Child 2 for $80,000. Apparently Oliver's mother waited until days before filming began and demanded $500,000 for Oliver's acting. What a little bastard!

http://www.ev.variety.com/article/VR106174.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

Anonymous said...

you are all freaks.. I think he is gorgeous..bunch of friggin losers..

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

you are all freaks.. I think he is gorgeous..bunch of friggin losers..


AHAHAHA? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHERE ARE YOU FROM? ARKANSAS?

Anonymous said...

I think you people are sick, you are the ones who need all these nasty balls up your ass or on your face. If you have time to create this nasty blog and talk bad about Michael then you need to be checked out, WOW! You really have time to talk nasty. Look at your lives and you'll notice what a bunch of losers you'll are.
:)

Anonymous said...

Michael Oliver sure is rude to his fans. I saw this over at IMDB:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0646943/board/nest/67558807

"I ran into this guy a few weeks ago...........
by JerryFalwellsBurningSoul (Thu Feb 22 2007 14:57:17)

-----------------------------------
He was shopping at a Ralph's in Burbank with some lady. Anyway, I saw him near the alcohol section and he was looking at wine in a box. I went up to him and asked if he was the guy from problem child. He said yeah, and then went back to looking at the wine in a box. I asked him what his real name was and he replied, " Roadie Pc" and laughed( I was confused about this until I went to these boards) I then said my goodbyes and attempted to shake his hand and he refused and said, " I only shake hands of people I know" I left amazed that this guy was such a prick. Anyway that was my run in with the Problem Child. "

Anonymous said...

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKED UP! mICHAEL IS A GREAT GUY AND YOU PEOPLE SPEND TIME MAKING FUN OF CELEBRITIES AVE NO LIFE..YOU ALL ARE JEALOUS FUCKERS!!

JewveBeenFramed said...

Update:

I've just blow my load over Michael three times in a row this morning. Michael, if you are reading this contact me asap. I've got a whole lotta lovin to give you!

Anonymous said...

http://i8.tinypic.com/7w6lhzr.jpg

Anonymous said...

He should use that fucking sword to chop that enormous forehead of his in half! God I'm getting wood thinking about that!


ROCCO

Anonymous said...

Thanks for adding it, Kurt! I knew we'd all enjoy it.

JewveBeenFramed said...

Name the time and place, Ponce. I will happily cross pork swords with you! Just imagine Kill Bill with fountains of penis puke spraying all over the place instead of blood!

I MUST WARN YOU, I FIGHT DIRTY!

Anonymous said...

"I had to lock down. if this is all you are seeing, lemme know."

That's his MySpace headline. Why does he think he's so big? No one cares.

Neil said...

michael oliver is super-sexy!!!!!

visit this blog for gay fans of him:
http://michaeloliverfans.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Junior cut off all of his long red locks..

http://a180.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/44/l_3b8b51eeebecaa06530c875905dd0a53.jpg

Anonymous said...

AHAHA shit I didn't see he left some in the back. Nice rat tail!

Anonymous said...

why are u being vile to mike it wasnt his fault his mam got greedy they are classic films and my kids love them. leave him alone and shag each other u twats