Saturday, April 26, 2008

Dustin Diamond (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance - Episode VI)

Episode VI - April 13, 2008

The sixth episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp began with all of the contestants riding on a bus to the boot camp. The contestants were not looking forward to the day's activities, as the weather was cold and rainy. After arriving at the boot camp, the contestants lined up, as usual. Drill instructor Harvey Walden decided to mix things up by shaking up the teams. Dustin Diamond and Tina Yothers were moved to the blue team and A.J. Benza and Erin Moran were moved to the red team.

Tocarra Jones was upset about the shake-up, as her red team had been substantially ahead of the blue team in terms of overall weight loss. The blue team was also nervous about receiving Diamond, who had come to be viewed as a pain in the ass. About receiving Diamond, Sommore said, "I was really nervous. I knew Dustin was going to be a little bit irritable." Brian Dunkelman was also peeved, saying, "I was disappointed we got Dustin. My first thought was, 'oh shit,' because he kind of pissed me off last week [when he was drunk after playing pool and shot his mouth off]."

The challenge of the day required each team to move military supplies, such as tires, metal barrels, and wooden boxes, from one side of a valley onto a military truck on the other side. The team moving the heaviest amount of military supplies within an hour would win the challenge.

Diamond's new blue team started out strong, working together as a team and quickly captured a large lead. The red team, on the other hand, was very disorganized. A.J. Benza was throwing military supplies around like a lunatic, rolling heavy metal barrels down the valley without regard to the safety of the people standing near the bottom. At 20 minutes into the challenge, Diamond's blue team was comfortably ahead, having moved 940 lbs versus 570 lbs for the red team.

At one point, the blue team's lead seemed insurmountable. However, Diamond's out of shape and lazy ass quickly began loafing around. Diamond started whining that the competition was too hard, saying, "I can't breathe." Brian Dunkelman tried to motivate Diamond, saying, "Let's go." Diamond's reply was simply, "That still doesn't change the physical aspect of my lung capacity."

Brian Dunkelman was upset with Diamond's pathetic display, saying:

"Dustin was afraid he was gonna pass out. I don't know if Dustin does the best that he can. There's no way to really know that. If the fact that he's being outperformed by a woman who just had a baby 2 1/2 months ago isn't motivation enough, what the hell am I gonna do?"

Sommore was annoyed with Diamond's loafing, saying to Dunkelman, "Please motivate Dustin."

Yothers was also ticked off at Diamond's laziness. She said, "The challenge took everything out of me, but we were doing really well. We really had momentum. We were communicating. We were smoking the red team and then Dustin started falling apart."

About his pathetic performance, Diamond said, "I didn't forget that we were in a fucking race. I just got tired and need to stop and take a breath. I got winded. You know, I was dizzy ... but I never quit."

With 15 minutes remaining in the competition, Diamond's blue team was still in the lead, but the gap had narrowed substantially. The blue team was slightly ahead, having moved 3310 lbs versus 3005 lbs for the red team. At this point, Diamond sat down to rest like a total wuss while his teammates continued to move supplies as quickly as they could. Diamond was clearly dead weight on his team and was quickly destroying their previous lead.

By the time the challenge ended, the red team caught up to the blue team and actually won the competition. Diamond's team looked exhausted and was undoubtedly upset at Diamond for his crappy performance.

After the winning team was announced, Ant asked the blue team members to select the "Dead Weight" for the week. Diamond apparently assumed that he would help out Tina if she were voted as the Dead Weight and that his team members would help him if he was voted as the Dead Weight. Diamond voted for Tina, saying, "I [voted for] Tina 'cause I figure whether she does or not, I'll be with her."

Diamond was surprised and upset when everyone rightfully voted him as the Dead Weight. About the vote, an unhappy Diamond blamed the challenge loss on his teammates who, unlike him, hadn't sat down to rest during the challenge. Diamond said,

"You know what hurts me a bit is that in the beginning it was like, 'Well everyone tried their best, we don't think there was a dead weight.' Now it's, 'Oh Dustin was the dead weight.' But here's what's funny - even though I was dragging a little bit, I wasn't dragging so much to hold anyone back."

As Dead Weight, Diamond was ordered to wash down and scrub the boot camp's bus with cleaning products even though it was raining at this time. Diamond's was unhappy with his assigned task and the fact that his teammates didn't help him, saying, "Washing the bus - that was bullshit. It was pouring rain. Why do you want me to wash a bus while it's pouring rain?"

Diamond also vented in a subsequent interview, saying,

"I get my team through things. I encourage them. I, you know, I help them through it. I help them when they're down ... but you know what, none of the other cast members seem to want to really help me, the D-man. At some point, I will say, 'Fuck it.' Team will get pissed and well, you know what? Welcome to Hollywood - disappointment abounds."

After Diamond finally finished washing the bus, everyone changed and drove in the bus to a local bar where there was an open-mic night. Erin Moran got really drunk and started dancing like a stripper in front of everyone, to the surprise of her cast-mates.

Tina Yothers later got up on the stage and sang a song, to the delight of the other cast members, who seemed to be genuinely impressed by her vocal abilities. Next, Erin Moran went on the stage and swung a hula hoop around her waist, re-enacting a scene from Happy Days, her claim to fame. Tocarra then got up and upstaged Erin Moran by swinging four hula hoops around her waist. Erin Moran was jealous and upset with Tocarra for upstaging her, as became evident on the bus ride back to the boot camp.

Erin was being really loud and obnoxious on the bus ride, saying that she hated the show and slapping her butt. She claimed to know lines from "The Vagina Monologues" and then said she could recite the lines. Erin subsequently pretended to have an orgasm on the bus, to the annoyance of her teammates. It was really creepy. Dunkelman got a disgusted look on his face and A.J. Benza pretended to hide behind a seat. Tina Yothers chimed in, saying, "I threw up a little bit in my mouth."

When the bus arrived back at the camp, Erin was emotional and wandered off into the woods, saying she hated the show. The other cast members were concerned because it was nighttime and raining and went looking for her. Diamond was shown carrying a flashlight while looking for her. Diamond looked like a complete moron and appeared to be looking for her under rocks and in puddles while holding his flashlight.

Erin eventually made it back to her barracks and said that she had gone into the woods to make a phone call. Diamond eventually found her in the women's barracks and wanted to make sure she was ok. Diamond looked funny as he stood in her barracks - his Jew-fro had soaked up a lot of rain and looked shiny.

Finally, everyone went to bed to prepare for the next day's events. Harvey woke up the contestants the next morning for a workout with the WWE Divas, i.e., female wrestlers. The workout consisted of everyone jumping on trampolines, doing push-ups, crunches, etc. After just a few minutes of exercise, Diamond started slacking off. One of the hot little Divas had the following conversation with Diamond:

"WWE Diva: Come on, you're lagging Dustin, come on.

Diamond: It's 'cause I'm tired and I drank last night.

WWE Diva: Well, that's not our fault.

Diamond: I need to fucking breathe, man."

When questioned by Harvey about his slow performance, Diamond claimed that he couldn't move quickly because the ground was wet and he had almost slipped. One of the WWE Divas was clearly annoyed with Diamond's pathetic display and jokingly said, "Don't make me body slam you, Dustin." Harvey chimed and said in jest, "I'll pay you to do that."

Diamond was really upset with Harvey's joking offer. Diamond whined in a later interview,

"Pay someone to hit me? 'I'll pay you to hit him??' That's a threat of assault. I'm not gonna let myself keep being targeted, 'cause I'm gonna start targeting. People better start watching their asses. I'm calling my manager whose sole purpose is to look out for my safety, well-being, and fair treatment."

After the session with the WWE divas, the contestants returned to their barracks. Once back at his barracks, Diamond complained to Willie Aames about what Harvey had said. Diamond also bragged that he was going to get Harvey fired. Diamond acted like he was a tough guy and called his manager behind Harvey's back to complain.

The weigh-in occurred during the final session of the episode. During the weigh-ins for Tina Yothers and Brian Dunkelman, Diamond's poor performance during the previous day's challenge event was discussed with Harvey. I have no doubt that these discussions annoyed Diamond.

When it was Diamond's turn on the scale, it was revealed that he had not lost any weight since the previous episode - he was stuck at 201 lbs. As Diamond stood on the scale, the following exchange took place between Diamond, Stacey Kaiser, and Harvey:

"Stacey: So I was surprised that when the Divas made a comment this morning,and then when Harvey made a joke, you then filed a complaint. Why not go directly to the source if you have an issue with him?

Diamond: This morning I felt attacked, basically.

Harvey: That is the way I motivate. If you've got a problem with it, why did you come here? Personally, I don't freaking like you, but I'm just as hard on the rest of them when they're not putting out as I am on you. And you know what pisses me off is you've gotta keep back-dooring me and calling all these God-damn knuckleheads all over the freaking world and I gotta hear about it last. If you've got a freaking problem, you come to me. You always half-step. This morning you were God-damn half-stepping again. It took the freaking Divas 20 minutes to figure it out. And as soon as they said something to you, you freaking said, 'Ok, Harvey told you to pick on me.' Where the hell did that freaking come from? what makes you think I'm telling somebody to God-damn ambush you?

Diamond: There's a difference between motivating and federal crime. You can't say certain things.

Harvey: Dustin, kiss my ass with your federal crime bullshit! If you think I'm gonna let you God-damn censor the way I've been doing business for over 20-something years, you can kiss my yellow fit ass. Your target weight loss for the next weight-in is 5 freaking pounds, Dustin. If you don't like it, go freaking home! I was the one that freaking didn't believe in your ass from day one! I gave you a God-damn fair shot and you fucking pissed on it!"

Looking defeated, Diamond walked off the stage and out of the room while Harvey was yelling at him. After he was gone, A.J. Benza celebrated, saying "Hoo-rah!" Willie Aames and A.J. Benza also told Harvey they would defend him if Diamond brought any claims against him.

Once outside, Diamond vented his frustrations. Diamond said, "It's a targeted, willful attack. Oh no, I look foolish for standing up for myself." Diamond also said that Harvey was a dangerous person.

Diamond was also upset that none of the other cast members defended him during his weigh-in or walked outside to comfort him. Diamond said,

"Where are they? I would have come out. People could have said in there, 'that wasn't right, you shouldn't have gotten on him like that.' I don't know if he's bipolar or if he hates Jews that much or if he just has war battle fatigue or whatever you call it. Harvey is dangerous no matter what anyone else says, I don't care. He is bloodlust from war, bloodlust from combat."

**Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode II
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VII

Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VIII

Dustin Diamond - (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance)
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond (2000-Present)

Monday, April 07, 2008

Dustin Diamond (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance - Episode V)

Episode V - April 6, 2008

During the fifth episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp, Dustin Diamond, proved to the world that he is the most washed-up former celebrity of his generation and an overall pathetic excuse for a human being. Diamond is so needy and self-centered that I honestly don't know how he could possibly have any friends in real life.

The fifth episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp began much like the way the fourth episode began, with seven of the eight of the show's contestants riding on a bus out to the boot camp designed by drill instructor Harvey Walden. Not surprisingly, the one missing contestant was Dustin Diamond, the focus of this episode recap.

When the bus arrived at the boot camp, everyone noticed that Diamond was already waiting at the line and waving to everyone with a stupid grin on his face. About Diamond, Brian Dunkleman said, "So we drove up and saw Dustin's smiling face and knew it was going to be a long fucking day."

The remaining contestants exited the bus and line up near Diamond. Harvey and Diamond subsequently had the following exchange:

"Harvey: As you see, Dustin's back. Inquiring minds want to know Dustin,what happened?

Diamond: The weather was bad.

Harvey: That's your story?

Diamond: Yeah.

Harvey: You know, whatever story you have - no worries about it. You know, because as far as I'm concerned you freaking burned your second chance here ... and what really pisses me off more than anything is that you befriended them just like I said you would. You know, they trusted you, they had the confidence in you, they even voted your Nazi ass as team leader! And you let them down.
You could have been here if you really wanted to be here. But you know what, I fired you anyway. Toccara is the new doggone team captain. It's up to the read team whether they give you another chance."

Harvey subsequently asked William Aames, Tina Yothers, and Toccara Jones, Diamond's teammates on the red team, whether they wanted to allow Diamond to stay on the show. His teammates agreed to let him stay, presumably because they thought they needed to have four bodies to compete for the team weight loss challenge. After the vote, Harvey and Diamond had another verbal exchange:

"Harvey: Looks like you got three strikes with them, huh? I could care less whether your Nazi communist ass comes back.

Diamond: After being called a Nazi, I have to call my attorney on this one. And that's actually a racist remark towards my people and my religion ... I have contacted the Jewish Defense League and they're in full agreeance. To insult an entire race of people, that falls under hate crime.

Harvey: I'm insulting you. Just bring it on man."

Diamond was really upset at this time, and said to the other contestants, "I wish someone would have at least spoken up and said something."

In later interviews, Diamond said,

"By calling me a Nazi, Harvey made it clear that he doesn't like me. He had already called me a Nazi a number of times. That really bothered me, as I think it would anyone in my situation.
Somebody slaps you, you turn the other cheek. Fine. Slap me again, you're pushing it, buddy. Slap me a third time, I'm gonna fuck you up."

Diamond and the other contestants were then allowed to return to their barracks to change into their respective Celebrity Fit Club uniforms. Willie Aames asked Diamond what had happened the previous week, but Diamond would not provide any answers. Diamond was being very evasive and was clearly upset, making the other contestants think that Diamond was being extremely paranoid. Diamond also called his lawyer on his cell phone to whine about his alleged mistreatment.

In a later interview, Diamond said, "You're not paranoid if what you're paranoid about is actually true. If you're worried that people are out to get you and they actually are, well guess what? You're not paranoid."

A.J. Benza and Willie Aames were very annoyed with the bitchy Diamond at this point in time. Diamond quickly walked outside and kept talking to his lawyer on his cell phone. While walking outside, a cameraman followed Diamond, causing Diamond to get even more upset. Diamond exclaimed, "You can't use this [footage]. I'm on the phone with the attorney. There's confidentiality and if we have to, we'll file an injunction and stop the whole fucking show. Deal with it."

In another subsequent interview, Diamond said, "I don't think anyone can say, 'I'm an asshole, there's something wrong with me,' because I've taken more abuse than I deserved. And if things keep getting stacked against me, I'm gonna say, 'Go fuck yourself.'"

Toccara tried to get Diamond to calm down while he walked outside, but Diamond said that Harvey didn't like Jews. Diamond continued walking over to a restroom for some privacy. Diamond mentioned something about being upset that the other cast members had voted to boot him off during the previous episode. When he finally walked out of the rest room, Diamond tried to act like a tough guy, saying, "Get ready for hell, bitch!"

After leaving the bathroom, Diamond stayed in his barracks while the rest of the contestants stood in line outside the barracks waiting for instructions from Harvey. Toccara, Yothers, and Harvey went back into the barracks to talk to Diamond. Harvey apologized to Diamond and said that he had no problem with Diamond from a racial standpoint. While Harvey apologized, Toccara and Yothers hugged Diamond while Diamond cried like an immature little baby. While sobbing, Diamond said, "I just came here to work out."

In a later solo interview, Diamond said, "Harvey came in and apologized. But I know crap's still coming. And so, I do have cards up my sleeve."

The contestants were then driven to a three-stage challenge event. In the first stage, each team member was to throw cannonballs at four targets. After all of the targets were hit for a team, the team was to proceed to the next stage, where the team members were to wear anti-gravity boots and run a course. In the final stage, each team had to drive a quadricycle (a carriage supported by bicycle wheels that moves when the people inside push on pedals attached to the wheels). At the start of the event, Erin Moran fell down and injured herself. Sommore also injured herself, apparently straining her groin.

The challenge event was halted after the injuries to Erin Moran and Sommore. Ant revised the rules and said that because two members on the blue team were injured, two members of the red team would need to sit out the challenge event. Willie Aames had a trick knee, so the members of the red team agreed he should sit out. Yothers volunteered to participate in the event and Toccara and Yothers tried to convince Diamond to act like a man and volunteer to compete in the challenge event.

Although Diamond actually owns a pair of the anti-gravity boots and often wears them, he whined about how he might get tired and winded if he competed. FYI, Diamond actually wore anti-gravity boots on an episode from the sixth season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Look at Diamond gaying up this scene while strutting around in the anti-gravity boots:

After some discussion with Diamond, Toccara gave up trying to convince Diamond to compete and decided to compete on her own behalf. Yothers was not pleased with Diamond's wimpy decision to sit out, saying,

"When it came down to us picking two [to compete], I thought for sure Dustin had to stand up and say, 'I'm doing it. No matter what, I'm doing it.'
His first reaction was, 'I might get winded at the top of the hill.' No shit, Sherlock! We're all gonna be freakin' winded!
That was Dustin's chance to step up and man up."

About Diamond's decision, Toccara said, "I really wanted Dustin to man up and say, 'Toccara, I'm going to do this. I don't care if you don't think I should do it or whatever, I'm going to do this.'"

Brian Dunkleman, Ant, and A.J. Benza were shocked at Diamond's pathetic decision to sit out the challenge event, while letting the women on his team compete. In a later interview, Diamond claimed that he could have competed, but that he let Yothers and Toccara go because they really wanted to compete. He also claimed that he showed good leadership skills during the challenge event because he cheered on Yothers and Toccara from the sidelines.

Not surprisingly, the blue team easily won the competition, winning various prizes. Harvey was so pleased with the efforts of Yothers and Toccara that he decided that there would not be a "dead weight" vote this week.

Next, everyone reconvened at the barracks for dinner. The cast members were given food and allowed to cook their own dinner. Everyone seemed to know how to cook except for Diamond who couldn't figure out what to do with an onion.

After dinner, Diamond, Erin Moran, and Brian Dunkleman drank wine and played pool. Diamond started to get really loopy and upset after awhile, as he again thought about the vote to kick him off that occurred at the end of the fourth episode.

Brian Dunkleman and Diamond had the following conversation:

"Diamond: So now I know Erin's reason [for voting to kick Diamond off], what was your reason for saying, 'gone'?

Dunkleman: Here's the thing, Dustin. I'm only concerned about the way I come off on the show.

Diamond: Just out of curiosity, this is how my mind works. If you were walking down the street and saw a man mugging an old lady, you don't know her ...

Dunkleman: That's an absurd analogy.

Diamond: No it isn't. I stick up for buddies more than you seem to stick up for me, let's put it that way.

Dunkleman: Well, let me ask you this, Dustin - what is the benefit of me buddying up with the guy that was the overall fucking senseless villain and hated person in the season before? That is the last thing that I want to get involved in.

Diamond: I said this morning ... I said that I had the Jewish defense league on my side ... and I do. And to be called 'Nazi' twice in the morning? This entire production could be shut down like that [Diamond snapped his fingers]... done. Harvey could be out the fucking door right now. You know why? Because he doesn't like Jews.

Dunkleman: Well, I don't know that.

Diamond: Well, I do.

Dunkleman: I think you're wrong.

Diamond: Doesn't matter.

Dunkleman: I don't see any evidence that he hates Jews. He hates you.

Diamond: If I make one phone call tomorrow, this whole production shuts down.

Dunkleman: We understand ...

Diamond: No, you don't understand. People better watch their ass, because I could show up at your house and fucking knife you in the gut.

Dunkleman: That's a weird thing to say.

Diamond: Hey, you piss me off and I justify it and I have the skill and technique [Diamond made a faux karate chop with his hands] ... You'd better watch your ass. I'll gut you motherfucker. You watch your ass. I'll kill your fucking ass!"

After his bizarre conversation with Dunkleman, an interview was shown where Diamond said, "I'm not gonna come in and be made to look like a douche bag. That's not gonna happen again. I'll tell you that right now. Because, well - I'll say it. I'm smarter than most. You know, the people who are out to get me, I'm smarter than."

The contestants woke up early the next morning for some exercises. There were taken to a field and given wooden rifles and marched and ran an obstacle course while holding the rifles.

Finally, the weigh-ins were shown. The weigh-in ceremony was relatively uneventful, although Toccara did say that Diamond should have volunteered in the three-stage challenge event the day before. Diamond became very defensive and claimed that he would have done it; Diamond's teammates disagreed with his assertion. When Diamond got up on the scale, he was pleased to have lost 7 lbs from his previous weigh-in during the third episode. He has now lost 16 lbs since the start of the show.

**Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode II
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VII

Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VIII

Dustin Diamond - (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance)
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond (2000-Present)