Saturday, April 05, 2008

Dustin Diamond (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance - Episode III)

Episode III - March 27, 2008

Dustin Diamond’s behavior during the third episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp was fairly tame, as he generally kept his attitude in check. Brian Dunkleman, however, was the main focus of this episode because a bachelor party was held for him prior to an upcoming marriage. The focus of this recap is on Diamond’s behavior, so this recap is relatively short, as compared to the previous two episode recaps.

The third episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp began with the show's contestants riding on a bus out to the boot camp designed by drill instructor Harvey Walden. In the opening scene, the contestants made light of Toccara's crazy outburst that occurred during the weigh-in ceremony of the second episode. Diamond mentioned that Toccara's outburst was very stressful for him personally, most likely because Toccara is much stronger than the frail Diamond and could probably twist off his head and spike on the ground like a football if she really wanted to do so.

After arriving at the boot camp, the contestants exited from the rear of the bus and then lined up by team for some instructions from Harvey Walden. Harvey expressed his displeasure with Diamond's performance on this season's show, saying "Some of you have not been really putting out" while looking directly at Diamond.

Next, the contestants were given breakfast in the mess hall. During breakfast, Harvey chastised the team captains, Diamond and Brian Dunkleman, for their teams' messy barracks and made them both arrange their respective barracks in a nice and orderly manner, much like real marines would do.

Next, the contestants were taken to a maze obstacle course. Each team was required to push a military jeep through a maze - three team members pushed the jeep while the fourth team member sat in the jeep and steered (the jeeps remained in neutral during this event). Along the way, the teams had to place cinder blocks and other items into the back of the jeep, making the jeep heavier and more difficult to maneuver.

Diamond's red team won the event because Dunkleman was giving a half-assed effort and was distracted throughout the event while thinking about his impending wedding. Dunkleman's blue team also made a wrong turn at one point, wasting valuable time. After losing the event, Dunkleman was voted the "weakest link" by his team and had to carry big heavy logs across the boot camp.

It apparently took Dunkleman several hours to move the logs. When he returned to his barracks, he was greeted with a bachelor party and lots of cake and other food. After a little while, a stripper showed up for the party. Diamond was very excited, because it was probably the closest he has stood to an attractive semi-naked woman in his entire life (in his personal life, he is known to chase obese women, as I have previously discussed).

Dr. Ian Smith and Stacey Kaiser showed up at the party shortly before the stripper arrived. Diamond was very happy to see Stacey Kaiser and said that he wanted to see her naked. During a subsequent interview, Diamond mentioned that he liked Stacey Kaiser and wanted to do something crude to her (it was difficult to determine what he said, as VH1 bleeped it out).

After the stripper arrived, the apparently intoxicated 47-year-old Erin Moran started acting crazy. Moran spanked the stripper's ass a few times and also freak danced a little bit. A good time was enjoyed by all, and all of the contestants eventually retired to bed.

Everyone was awoken the next morning for more drills. All of the contestants were taken to a field where they did exercises with a bunch of heavy logs. Some of the exercises involved lifting the logs up over their heads as a team and doing sit-ups against the logs. As usual, Diamond couldn't handle the physical exertion and pretended to be injured after what seemed to be a mere few minutes of exercise.

Toccara expressed her displeasure with Diamond's wimpiness, saying "Dustin can't do it because he hurt his shoulder. He has all the same issues every week."

About his supposed injuries, Diamond said, "Something in my back pulled big-time ... The workout was very disappointing because I got injured right away. My shoulder got hurt real bad. I couldn't compete."

A.J. Benza was none too pleased with Diamond's complaints. A.J. said, "Dustin's injury or spasm in his shoulder is bullshit. Dustin's been hurt [in] every single challenge."

During the drill, Harvey became upset with Dunkleman's lack of effort. Dunkleman appeared to be tired and possibly hung over from the previous night's bachelor party and clearly did not want to participate in the event. Shortly after returning back to the camp, Dunkleman left for home because he was so upset with Harvey's treatment of him during the episode.

Next, all of the contestants were weighed in the weigh-in. Diamond topped the scales at 208 lbs, a loss of 1 lb from the previous episode. Although Stacey Kaiser, Dr. Ian Smith, and Harvey Walden were generally pleased that Diamond had lost weight, Harvey wasn't happy with Diamond's lack of effort and phantom injuries during the various drills. The following exchange took place between Harvey and Diamond:

"Harvey: My twist on it ... I expect a lot. You know ... I just don't get it. I mean every workout, you're hurt. First it was your leg, your knee, today [it was] your shoulder. I mean you got Tina [Yothers] said she farted* out a baby six weeks ago. Why can't you push yourself past ... Not to mention, you're the team captain so you have an example to set.

Diamond: That log was tough. I was ...

Harvey: You didn't think it was tough for them?

Diamond: It's hard to pick up a log when you hurt your shoulder.

Harvey: I actually tried to get you to do some little shuttle runs. You gave up on that.

Diamond: Well, the running bounced the shoulders ...

Harvey: Oh Dustin, you gotta be freakin' full of ..."

The exchange was especially funny because Diamond wouldn't even look Harvey in the eye when he was giving his excuses for his lack of effort. It really did seem as though Diamond was lying about being injured at this point.

The episode ended shortly thereafter. A preview for the fourth episode was shown. It looks pretty good - apparently Diamond doesn't even bother to show up for the fourth episode, infuriating the cast!

* I'm not positive that Harvey said "farted," as it was difficult to determine which word he used. If he didn't say "farted," he said something that sounded very similar.

**Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode II
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VII
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VIII

Dustin Diamond - (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance)
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond (2000-Present)

1 comment:

Frank Da'Ma'Ge said...

Wow, thank goodness you're doing all the watching, because I don't think I could "stomach" it. Fascinating stuff though. It's tragic yet, so compelling. Kind of like that dead animal you find on the side of the road that is so mangled and decomposed you can't tell what it is and even the festering stench of it won't drive you away, until you figure out what the heck you're looking at. Yeah, sounds just like that.