Monday, April 07, 2008

Dustin Diamond (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance - Episode V)

Episode V - April 6, 2008

During the fifth episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp, Dustin Diamond, proved to the world that he is the most washed-up former celebrity of his generation and an overall pathetic excuse for a human being. Diamond is so needy and self-centered that I honestly don't know how he could possibly have any friends in real life.

The fifth episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp began much like the way the fourth episode began, with seven of the eight of the show's contestants riding on a bus out to the boot camp designed by drill instructor Harvey Walden. Not surprisingly, the one missing contestant was Dustin Diamond, the focus of this episode recap.

When the bus arrived at the boot camp, everyone noticed that Diamond was already waiting at the line and waving to everyone with a stupid grin on his face. About Diamond, Brian Dunkleman said, "So we drove up and saw Dustin's smiling face and knew it was going to be a long fucking day."

The remaining contestants exited the bus and line up near Diamond. Harvey and Diamond subsequently had the following exchange:

"Harvey: As you see, Dustin's back. Inquiring minds want to know Dustin,what happened?

Diamond: The weather was bad.

Harvey: That's your story?

Diamond: Yeah.

Harvey: You know, whatever story you have - no worries about it. You know, because as far as I'm concerned you freaking burned your second chance here ... and what really pisses me off more than anything is that you befriended them just like I said you would. You know, they trusted you, they had the confidence in you, they even voted your Nazi ass as team leader! And you let them down.
You could have been here if you really wanted to be here. But you know what, I fired you anyway. Toccara is the new doggone team captain. It's up to the read team whether they give you another chance."

Harvey subsequently asked William Aames, Tina Yothers, and Toccara Jones, Diamond's teammates on the red team, whether they wanted to allow Diamond to stay on the show. His teammates agreed to let him stay, presumably because they thought they needed to have four bodies to compete for the team weight loss challenge. After the vote, Harvey and Diamond had another verbal exchange:

"Harvey: Looks like you got three strikes with them, huh? I could care less whether your Nazi communist ass comes back.

Diamond: After being called a Nazi, I have to call my attorney on this one. And that's actually a racist remark towards my people and my religion ... I have contacted the Jewish Defense League and they're in full agreeance. To insult an entire race of people, that falls under hate crime.

Harvey: I'm insulting you. Just bring it on man."

Diamond was really upset at this time, and said to the other contestants, "I wish someone would have at least spoken up and said something."

In later interviews, Diamond said,

"By calling me a Nazi, Harvey made it clear that he doesn't like me. He had already called me a Nazi a number of times. That really bothered me, as I think it would anyone in my situation.
Somebody slaps you, you turn the other cheek. Fine. Slap me again, you're pushing it, buddy. Slap me a third time, I'm gonna fuck you up."

Diamond and the other contestants were then allowed to return to their barracks to change into their respective Celebrity Fit Club uniforms. Willie Aames asked Diamond what had happened the previous week, but Diamond would not provide any answers. Diamond was being very evasive and was clearly upset, making the other contestants think that Diamond was being extremely paranoid. Diamond also called his lawyer on his cell phone to whine about his alleged mistreatment.

In a later interview, Diamond said, "You're not paranoid if what you're paranoid about is actually true. If you're worried that people are out to get you and they actually are, well guess what? You're not paranoid."

A.J. Benza and Willie Aames were very annoyed with the bitchy Diamond at this point in time. Diamond quickly walked outside and kept talking to his lawyer on his cell phone. While walking outside, a cameraman followed Diamond, causing Diamond to get even more upset. Diamond exclaimed, "You can't use this [footage]. I'm on the phone with the attorney. There's confidentiality and if we have to, we'll file an injunction and stop the whole fucking show. Deal with it."

In another subsequent interview, Diamond said, "I don't think anyone can say, 'I'm an asshole, there's something wrong with me,' because I've taken more abuse than I deserved. And if things keep getting stacked against me, I'm gonna say, 'Go fuck yourself.'"

Toccara tried to get Diamond to calm down while he walked outside, but Diamond said that Harvey didn't like Jews. Diamond continued walking over to a restroom for some privacy. Diamond mentioned something about being upset that the other cast members had voted to boot him off during the previous episode. When he finally walked out of the rest room, Diamond tried to act like a tough guy, saying, "Get ready for hell, bitch!"

After leaving the bathroom, Diamond stayed in his barracks while the rest of the contestants stood in line outside the barracks waiting for instructions from Harvey. Toccara, Yothers, and Harvey went back into the barracks to talk to Diamond. Harvey apologized to Diamond and said that he had no problem with Diamond from a racial standpoint. While Harvey apologized, Toccara and Yothers hugged Diamond while Diamond cried like an immature little baby. While sobbing, Diamond said, "I just came here to work out."

In a later solo interview, Diamond said, "Harvey came in and apologized. But I know crap's still coming. And so, I do have cards up my sleeve."

The contestants were then driven to a three-stage challenge event. In the first stage, each team member was to throw cannonballs at four targets. After all of the targets were hit for a team, the team was to proceed to the next stage, where the team members were to wear anti-gravity boots and run a course. In the final stage, each team had to drive a quadricycle (a carriage supported by bicycle wheels that moves when the people inside push on pedals attached to the wheels). At the start of the event, Erin Moran fell down and injured herself. Sommore also injured herself, apparently straining her groin.

The challenge event was halted after the injuries to Erin Moran and Sommore. Ant revised the rules and said that because two members on the blue team were injured, two members of the red team would need to sit out the challenge event. Willie Aames had a trick knee, so the members of the red team agreed he should sit out. Yothers volunteered to participate in the event and Toccara and Yothers tried to convince Diamond to act like a man and volunteer to compete in the challenge event.

Although Diamond actually owns a pair of the anti-gravity boots and often wears them, he whined about how he might get tired and winded if he competed. FYI, Diamond actually wore anti-gravity boots on an episode from the sixth season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Look at Diamond gaying up this scene while strutting around in the anti-gravity boots:

After some discussion with Diamond, Toccara gave up trying to convince Diamond to compete and decided to compete on her own behalf. Yothers was not pleased with Diamond's wimpy decision to sit out, saying,

"When it came down to us picking two [to compete], I thought for sure Dustin had to stand up and say, 'I'm doing it. No matter what, I'm doing it.'
His first reaction was, 'I might get winded at the top of the hill.' No shit, Sherlock! We're all gonna be freakin' winded!
That was Dustin's chance to step up and man up."

About Diamond's decision, Toccara said, "I really wanted Dustin to man up and say, 'Toccara, I'm going to do this. I don't care if you don't think I should do it or whatever, I'm going to do this.'"

Brian Dunkleman, Ant, and A.J. Benza were shocked at Diamond's pathetic decision to sit out the challenge event, while letting the women on his team compete. In a later interview, Diamond claimed that he could have competed, but that he let Yothers and Toccara go because they really wanted to compete. He also claimed that he showed good leadership skills during the challenge event because he cheered on Yothers and Toccara from the sidelines.

Not surprisingly, the blue team easily won the competition, winning various prizes. Harvey was so pleased with the efforts of Yothers and Toccara that he decided that there would not be a "dead weight" vote this week.

Next, everyone reconvened at the barracks for dinner. The cast members were given food and allowed to cook their own dinner. Everyone seemed to know how to cook except for Diamond who couldn't figure out what to do with an onion.

After dinner, Diamond, Erin Moran, and Brian Dunkleman drank wine and played pool. Diamond started to get really loopy and upset after awhile, as he again thought about the vote to kick him off that occurred at the end of the fourth episode.

Brian Dunkleman and Diamond had the following conversation:

"Diamond: So now I know Erin's reason [for voting to kick Diamond off], what was your reason for saying, 'gone'?

Dunkleman: Here's the thing, Dustin. I'm only concerned about the way I come off on the show.

Diamond: Just out of curiosity, this is how my mind works. If you were walking down the street and saw a man mugging an old lady, you don't know her ...

Dunkleman: That's an absurd analogy.

Diamond: No it isn't. I stick up for buddies more than you seem to stick up for me, let's put it that way.

Dunkleman: Well, let me ask you this, Dustin - what is the benefit of me buddying up with the guy that was the overall fucking senseless villain and hated person in the season before? That is the last thing that I want to get involved in.

Diamond: I said this morning ... I said that I had the Jewish defense league on my side ... and I do. And to be called 'Nazi' twice in the morning? This entire production could be shut down like that [Diamond snapped his fingers]... done. Harvey could be out the fucking door right now. You know why? Because he doesn't like Jews.

Dunkleman: Well, I don't know that.

Diamond: Well, I do.

Dunkleman: I think you're wrong.

Diamond: Doesn't matter.

Dunkleman: I don't see any evidence that he hates Jews. He hates you.

Diamond: If I make one phone call tomorrow, this whole production shuts down.

Dunkleman: We understand ...

Diamond: No, you don't understand. People better watch their ass, because I could show up at your house and fucking knife you in the gut.

Dunkleman: That's a weird thing to say.

Diamond: Hey, you piss me off and I justify it and I have the skill and technique [Diamond made a faux karate chop with his hands] ... You'd better watch your ass. I'll gut you motherfucker. You watch your ass. I'll kill your fucking ass!"

After his bizarre conversation with Dunkleman, an interview was shown where Diamond said, "I'm not gonna come in and be made to look like a douche bag. That's not gonna happen again. I'll tell you that right now. Because, well - I'll say it. I'm smarter than most. You know, the people who are out to get me, I'm smarter than."

The contestants woke up early the next morning for some exercises. There were taken to a field and given wooden rifles and marched and ran an obstacle course while holding the rifles.

Finally, the weigh-ins were shown. The weigh-in ceremony was relatively uneventful, although Toccara did say that Diamond should have volunteered in the three-stage challenge event the day before. Diamond became very defensive and claimed that he would have done it; Diamond's teammates disagreed with his assertion. When Diamond got up on the scale, he was pleased to have lost 7 lbs from his previous weigh-in during the third episode. He has now lost 16 lbs since the start of the show.

**Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode II
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VII

Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VIII

Dustin Diamond - (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance)
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond (2000-Present)


Anonymous said...

Dustin is such a piece of shit using his Jewish heritage to try and get at Harvey. If Screech was around during the days of the Nazis he would have been the guy selling out fellow Jews to save his own skin. Every time that bloated piece of shit mentions his Jewdom he drags an entire religion and race down with him. The JDL are an even bigger joke than I thought if they're going to support this piece of shit.

People don't hate you for being Jewish, male, gay/straight or whatever excuse you can come up with, Screech. They hate you because you are a worthless piece of shit that tries to fuck over everyone you come across, lie at every opportunity and prey on people's good nature like bullshitting about your house being foreclosed and needing money while you went out and bought expensive home electronics. They despise you for having zero respect for your peers and your shitty sense of entitlement such as your attempts to become a standup comedian where you showed nothing but contempt for more talented people, stealing their jokes and trying to get them banned from venues so you could use their material without them knowing. The fact is, Screech, you would never have been at those gigs if it wasn't for the fact that you once had some success playing a character (who you hate being remembered for, might I add) in a popular TV show in the late 80s early 90s.

When nearly everyone you come across hates you there has to be something wrong with you not them. You're problem is that you don't have respect or empathy for anyone but yourself and because of that people find you a despicable person that they would rather not be around, even your fellow contestants have given you more chances than you deserve and yet you make childish threats to them about stabbing them in the night.

In closing, FUCK YOU, Screech.

Anonymous said...

Wow & above all damn! Jewvebeenframed went off your your screechy monkey butt. Jewish or not, respect is earned & not just given. Obviously dude you have not earned shit. Roses are reddish, violets are blueish, if it weren't for Christmas we'd all be Jewish. That is coming from a person of Jewish heritage as well. A matter of fact I am a mutt. I got German, Russian, Polish, as well as English & proud of them all.
I will not however use them as a means of everyones either against me or for me. In other words we create our own good or bad karma no matter of what race,creed,religion, and sex we may be. Isn't telling someone that you will gut their mutherfuckin ass a threat? I would sure take that as one. Brian could've used your own words about crying to his attorney on you dumbass. Think before you speak as well as threaten someone. I found SBTB an entertaining show & even found you somewhat likeable as Screech, but after all the shit that you have pulled, I lost all respect for you as a person as well as an entertainer. Later buttwhipe!

Anonymous said...

jewvebeenframed, you are the funniest motherfucker online right now (not including the hate comment towards Screech) and I've read all of your comments on the other celebrities. You should be a comedy writer or stand up (if your not already) because my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. Anyhoo, I don't like Dustin Diamond that much but holy shit, he is also one funny ass motherfucker. He's the ONLY reason I watch the show

Anonymous said...

I watched the show the other day and I laughed my ass off when he was throwing his litte tantrum and crying those crocodile tears.

Also, I highly doubt he called his lawyer like he claims. Right before he hung up his phone, he said "Love you, too." I think he was definitely talking to his girlfriend rather than his "lawyer" (the word is in quoted because I doubt he even has one in the first place.)

Anonymous said...

Diamond wrote about this on his MySpace blog:

" Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Religious Attacks

I wanted to take a moment to voice my opinion on a very personal matter. While working on a new TV show, I have been repeatedly attacked by another participant for my Jewish beliefs. Numerous anti-semitic comments have been made, I've even been called a Nazi! The attacks on me have even been to the point that I was denied the medical treatment recommeded by the on set medic during an episode, and I watched stunned as money was offered to cause me physical harm. Both production and the network have been made aware of the attacks but they do nothing, I guess they condone such behavior, or maybe they hate Jews as well. What may be even more appauling is that this has all taken place on the grounds of a Jewish University, I believe that they also choose to look the other way since these acts continue even after they were notified. I wonder where their students turn when in need. I would never support a campus that stood by while the very fundamentals that they hold sacred were attacked. I guess that we live in a society where the all mighty dollar is worth more then ones personal beliefs or even honor. I know that many of you may jump to the assumption that I provoked this. I did not. I have not once raised my voice or antagonized any other participant. I am really not the person most of you saw on TV earlier this year. Truth be told I am a pretty quite guy. I do a great deal of charity work, and prefer to spend an evening at home rather than on the town . (which reminds me, I will post a seperate blog about an amazing non-profit group that I am currently working with, it's a great cause for kids and I encourage everyone, especially those in my area to become involved) While the attacks stem from a real hate, I also suspect that the show wants me to react in a hostile manner, I won't. Instead I choose to make the public aware. Religious hate exists in our lives and far to many people look the other way or simply lie down and accept it. I will not, I am proud of who I am. Please feel free to spread this story and show your support. I offer a special thank you to the JDL for their support and kind words during this time.


Anonymous said...

Besides focusing just on Dustin I also feel Erin Moran needs to be put on this list. You couldn't get more washed up than her. I have never seen someone with such bizarre behavior(doing her thrust number on the bus ride with the other pathetic washed up celebs.I don't know if Erin is just weird or plain dysfunctional.

Anonymous said...

Can do you an entry on Neve Campbell? She's pretty washed up. Seems like she fell off the face of the earth.

Anonymous said...

Hey Kurt, have you ever seen the movie "Now and Then"? It has Demi Moore and Rosie O'Donnell in it. There's this fat girl named Ashleigh Aston Moore, she was in it & some movies and tv shows in the 90's. She quit acting and became a crackhead and died of a heroin overdose.

Anonymous said...

Hey Kurt I gotta tell ya as much as we have all written about Dustin, I gotta tell ya Erin Moran is making him look good. That has gotta be one of the weirdest chicks as well as washed up celebs I have seen. Her bizarre behavior on CFC says it all. Even if it is scripted or not. I am no expert, but you definitely have an alcoholic, bipolar, as well as psychotic lady on your hands when you see how weird "Joanie" Erin Moran really is. She puts a whole new meaning to the word nutcase as well as wacko. She definitely needs her own listing as washed up.