Friday, October 30, 2009

Tara Reid

Tara Reid is an actress best known for her role in American Pie and her wild partying and plastic surgery nightmare.

Reid was born on November 8, 1975 in Wyckoff, New Jersey and began her acting career at a young age. Reid’s first broke into the entertainment business in 1982 when she became a regular on a children's game show called "Child's Play". Reid subsequently appeared in over 100 commercials for companies such as Jell-O, McDonald's, and Crayola.

Reid took a break from acting throughout much of the mid-late 1980s and early 1990s as she attended grade school and high school. In 1987 she had a small role in the horror movie, Return to Salem’s Lot. She waited until 1994 to appear in her next role as an extra in one episode of Saved By The Bell: the New Class.

Reid began acquiring other minor roles throughout the mid-1990s, including small roles on TV shows such as Days of Our Lives and California Dreams. Reid was a very attractive young woman at the time and movie producers began taking notice, casting her in small roles in the 1998 major motion pictures The Big Lebowski and Urban Legend. Reid followed up with her star-making role as "Vicky Lathum" in the 1999 smash hit comedy, American Pie. She also appeared in the hit movie Cruel Intentions in 1999.

Fans of American Pie were enamored with Reid. She was a beautiful young woman and was generally regarded as one of the most attractive actresses in Hollywood. Despite her good looks, however, most people thought that she was a horrible actress. After American Pie, Reid followed up with big roles in several box office flops, such as Body Shots (1999), Just Visiting (2001), and Josie and the Pussycats (2001). Josie and the Pussycats was a huge flop, costing $39 million to produce but garnering only $14 million worldwide at the box office. Reid’s career was rejuvenated in 2002, however, by a small appearance in American Pie 2 and by a major role in Van Wilder.

Reid’s acting career has been on a downward trajectory in 2002, however, likely due to her well-publicized penchant for excessive drinking and partying. She has had numerous acting roles since 2002, but none are very notable. She had a recurring role during the 2004-05 season of Scrubs, but her character was written off after the season due to conflicts reportedly caused by her off-camera lifestyle. Reid had a well-publicized relationship and engagement with Carson Daly that ended in 2001, likely as a result of her partying.

Reid was offered a job hosting Taradise, a spin-off of the travel show Wild On, in 2005. However, Taradise was canceled after only eight episodes, reportedly due to the excessive costs of Reid’s partying associated with her role.

Over the past few years, the roles offered to Reid have been few and far between. Her best roles have been in poorly reviewed straight-to-DVD flicks such as Silent Partner (2005) and Clean Break (2008).

Reid is undoubtedly aware of her lack of acting ability and knew that the best way to remain successful in Hollywood was by maintain her good looks for as long as possible. This realization apparently made Reid feel extremely insecure, leading her to undergo many plastic surgeries that were completely unnecessary and disfigured her.

In 2004, Reid had a boob job. Reid has claimed that "asked for big Bs" but that her plastic surgeon instead gave her C’s, which she did not want. Reid also had a procedure called “body contouring” which was performed by the same plastic surgeon. This surgery disfigured Reid’s stomach, giving it a rippled look, as shown below. Reid claims that she was unable to wear a bikini on camera and lost acting roles as a result.

Reid apparently began hanging out with/dating other people whose stomachs looked even weirder than hers in an effort to take the attention off her. (This is a tactic similar to the one used by fat women who hang out with even fatter women so that they look thin/normal in comparison.) Reid had to undergo subsequent surgeries to fix her botched plastic surgery.

In 2004 Reid suffered ridicule when she was on the red carpet at a party to celebrate P. Diddy’s 35th birthday. Reid was waving to cameras when her left dress strap rolled off her shoulder, revealing her left breast. Various photographs of Reid’s surgically enhanced breast were snapped and published throughout the Internet.

Reid had a growing reputation as a party girl at the time and was known to hang out with other famous party girls such as Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton. Reid cemented this "party girl" reputation when she appeared on Taradise. Reid has claimed that her appearance on Taradise irreparably ruined her career. Reid stayed true to her reputation in 2007 Reid when she was lost a lot of weight and was reportedly hospitalized for alcohol abuse. Reid also checked into rehab in November 2008 to deal with alcoholism and anorexia. After a 60-day stay, she was released and reportedly sold her story to In Touch Weekly for $150,000.

Reid’s partying lifestyle and botched surgeries have taken a toll on her public image. At the height of her fame earlier this decade, Reid reportedly commanded $60,000 per appearance (according to People Magazine), but by late 2008 was struggling to bring in $1,500 (according to Us Weekly). As a result of her excessive partying and botched surgeries, Reid’s acting career is practically on life support. Accordingly, Tara Reid is undoubtedly one washed-up celebrity!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay is a stand-up comedian and actor best known for his raunchy stand-up comedy routine during the late-1980s. Clay was very successful for several years until the public quickly tired of his highly profane shtick.

Clay's birth name is Andrew Clay Silverstein and he was born on September 29, 1958 in Brooklyn, New York. Clay began his stand-up career in the late 1970s, at age 20. Despite not knowing anyone in comedy, Clay worked hard to tighten his routine and craft a unique on-stage persona. As a stand-up comedian, Clay was known for being extremely crass, racist, and misogynist. While performing his stand-up routine, he would refer to himself as "Diceman."

Dice initially made several appearances on TV shows during the early 1980s, such as M*A*S*H, Diff'rent Strokes, and Crime Story. He also had a memorable appearance as a bouncer in the 1986 cult classic, Pretty in Pink. Clay was also perfecting his stand-up routine at this time and was selling out show after show throughout the late 1980s and into the early 1990s as his fame grew from good word-of-mouth. One of the trademarks of his routine was the recitation of absolutely filthy derivations of popular nursery rhymes, such as:

Hickory Dickory Dock,
My balls fell out of my jock.
I laid them to rest
On some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock.

Roll, roll, roll your cunt
Gently down my prick.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Then you'll suck my dick.

Clay was rewarded with his first HBO special in 1989, entitled "The Diceman Cometh" and filmed in front of a live audience in Philadelphia, PA. Clay's HBO special effectively increased his exposure and fame by an order of magnitude, leading to other media appearances, such as a 1989 appearance on the MTV music video awards and an opportunity to host Saturday Night Live in 1990.

However, as Clay's fame grew, his ego inflated to epic proportions. Meanwhile, many people became vocal opponents of his brand of gross-out comedy. During his 1989 appearance on the MTV video awards, Clay used so much profanity on the air that the network executives banned him from appearing on the network again. Women's groups also protested his brand of comedy, labeling him a misogynist.

Leading up to his 1990 appearance on Saturday Night Live, comedienne Nora Dunn, one of the headliners on the show, and the scheduled musical guest, Sinead O'Connor, threatened to boycott the episode unless Clay's invitation to host the show was rescinded. Despite the boycott, Clay did appear on the show - although the show was taped live, it was broadcast was a delay of several seconds to give censors the chance to bleep out any curse words that Clay might utter. (As an aside, Nora Dunn was fired from the show for her boycott.)

The public quickly began to tired of Clay by the early 1990s as people tired of his stale act. Although Clay had a starring role in the 1990s movie, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, the movie performed poorly at the box office. Moreover, Clay was no longer able to routinely sell out huge auditoriums anymore and eventually decided to take some time off to regroup. Clay moved his wife and two boys to Florida for a couple years where he ran a Gold's Gym and underwent therapy.

Clay returned to Hollywood in 1995 to appear in a starring role on the CBS family comedy, Bless This House. Clay attempted to distance himself from his previous raunchy persona, claiming that his on-stage personality was merely an act and that he never meant the horrible things he used to say, and that he only said them to be funny. The public didn't seem to like Clay's more family-friendly character on Bless This House and the show was canceled after one season.

Clay subsequently had roles in other unsuccessful TV shows during the late 1990s-early 2001, at which point he stopped receiving offers for decent acting roles. Clay had tremendous difficulty coming to terms with the state of his career and became extremely bitter about his treatment by the public. Clay also vocalized his jealously of other, more successful comedians whom he deemed to be inferior. Regarding Jerry Seinfeld, Clay has stated:

"Watching Jerry Seinfeld on stage is like watching a fucking accountant. It's just so absolutely God-awful. I would rather watch a Monday night amateur who doesn't know any better try to create something funny rather than going, "Have you been to McDonald's lately?" Yeah, I have. What's so funny about it? The fries are good. You put me on stage, I'm the greatest stand-up ever in the history of American culture.

Clay's acting roles dried up after 2001 as the public wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. Clay attempted to revive his career in 2003 by appearing for an interview on the now-defunct CNN business news channel, CNNfN. Clay became extremely upset when the show's host asked him about his career and his time away from Hollywood when he was managing a gym. Clay's awkward and profane appearance did nothing to help his career, as should be no surprise to anyone who has seen this clip from his appearance:

Clay laid low again before attempting another comeback in 2007 with a reality show based on his life, entitled: "Dice Undisputed." The apparent purpose of the reality show was to show the human side of Clay. However, the only thing that the few viewers of the show saw was a deeply insecure fat and balding man. The amazing thing is that although Clay is overweight and clearly out of shape, he apparently has the deluded idea that he is in great shape - perhaps that explains why he wears sleeveless shirts which accentuate his flabby arms:

Clay also appeared in the celebrity version of The Apprentice in 2009. However, he quickly made enemies and was booted off during the first episode.

Andrew Dice Clay went from being one of the most popular stand-up comedians of the late 1980s to a washed up joke within a few short years. His massive ego and extreme jealously of more popular comedians have been him a very unlikeable person. For this and the other reasons discussed above, Andrew Dice Clay is one washed-up celebrity!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Ron Palillo

Ron Palillo is an actor best known for his role as "Horshack" on the hit 1970s sitcom, Welcome Back, Kotter.

Palillo was born on April 2, 1949, in Cheshire, Connecticut. Palillo was interested in acting from an early age. At the tender age of 14, he started his own summer theater in his hometown. Surprisingly, his summer theatre actually made money.

After high school, Palillo attended the University of Connecticut, majoring in drama. Palillo pursued his dream of acting while at Connecticut, appearing in many school plays. After graduation, Palillo took a job with a touring company which performed William Shakespeare's plays. Palillo later moved to New York and acquired a role in the successful off-Broadway play, Hot l Baltimore, with which he stayed for over a year. Palillo's stage success led to his breakthrough role as Horshack on Welcome Back, Kotter.

Welcome Back, Kotter was a hit sitcom that originally aired between 1975 and 1979. It is the sitcom that launched John Travolta's career into stardom. Welcome Back, Kotter was a sitcom about a wise-cracking teacher, Gabe Kotter (played by Gabe Kaplan), who returned to high high school alma mater (the fictional James Buchanan High in Brooklyn, New York) to teach a rowdy group of remedial wiseass students known as the "Sweathogs." According to the storyline, Kotter had attended the same remedial classes when he was a student at Buchanan and was a founding member of the Sweathogs. Believing that he was the last chance for the students to acquire a sufficient education to succeed beyond high school, Kotter befriended his students. Kotter even allowed the students to visit his apartment in Bensonhurst. Although inviting innocent young boys into his home would likely be frowned upon in today's society, Mr. Kotter surprisingly didn't attempt to molest any of the boys.

Palillo's Horshack character was the "Screech Powers" of 1970s sitcoms. Horshack was the class clown of the Sweathogs and was known for his odd and unique observations and his wheezing laugh, which was akin to that of a hyena.

Horshack was a popular character on Welcome Back, Kotter, although certainly not as popular as Travolta's Vinne Barbarino character. Despite his success on the show, Palillo struggled to find acting work after the cancellation of Welcome Back, Kotter in 1979. Palillo managed to acquire some non-recurring minor roles on shows such as The Love Boat, The A-Team, and CHiPs. Acting roles were so sparse that Palillo got a nose job in an effort to distance himself from his Horshack character.

However, Palillo's career never recovered. Palillo returned to the University of Connecticut to teach an acting class in the late 1990s. Palillo eventually decided to accept any TV roles offered to him, regardless of how sleazy they might be. In 2002 Palillo was so desperate to make a dollar that he actually agreed to fight fellow washed-up celebrity Dustin "Screech" Diamond in Fox's Celebrity Boxing.

Fox billed the boxing bout between Diamond and Palillo as a match to "dork it up" in the ring. Although much smaller than Diamond, Palillo decided to go through with the match, apparently thinking that some media exposure would help his career. However, Palillo was in for a rude awakening when he stepped in the ring with Diamond. Palillo started the match by pushing Diamond and trying to punch Diamond in the head. However, Diamond eventually started unloading on Palillo and quickly began beating the crap out of Palillo, eventually giving Palillo a puffy black eye and causing the boxing referee to call the match in favor of Diamond.

Palillo was not a happy camper after the match. Diamond claimed that Palillo asked the producers of Celebrity Boxing to talk to him before the match and asked him to go easy on Palillo because Palillo had just gotten nose and chin jobs. However, Diamond was infuriated when Palillo tried to punch him in the head and decided to get even by whaling on Palillo. Palillo was very upset with the beating he received; after the match Palillo said to Diamond, "Don't even talk to me. Just get away from me. I never want to see you again." Diamond has also claimed that Palillo's gay lover told Diamond that Karma was going to get him.

After his bout on Celebrity Boxing, Palillo was very embarrassed because many people were poking fun at him for losing badly to Diamond. However, Palillo now claims that he never received a black eye, despite the swelling around his eyes that is clearly visible in the pictures shown above. Palillo claims that the referee called the match because Diamond had knocked a contact lens out of Palillo's eye. Palillo also asserts that he gave Diamond a vicious beating during the bout and that Diamond thought that Palillo had broken one of his ribs in the one-sided match!

Ron Palillo's acting career quickly peaked with his memorable role on the hit 1970s sitcom, Welcome Back, Kotter. However, after the cancellation of the show, Palillo's career swirled down the toilet and has yet to recover. Palillo is currently so hard up for cash that he will speak to anyone on the phone for $20! As a result of his stalled acting career and his desperate attempt to revive his career by appearing on Celebrity Boxing and receiving the pummeling of a lifetime at the hands of uber-nerd, Dustin Diamond, there can be no doubt that Ron Palillo is one washed-up celebrity!

*** Update - August 14, 2012 ***

Ron Palillo died of an apparent heart attack this morning.  He was 63 years old.  

Friday, May 15, 2009

Kirstie Alley

Kirstie Alley is an actress best known for her role as "Rebecca Howe" on the hit mid-1980s-early 1990s sitcom Cheers.

Kirstie Alley was born on January 12, 1951 in Wichita, Kansas. Alley attended Kansas State University and the University of Kansas for a short time, dropping out during her sophomore year to pursue an acting career. Her first TV appearances were on game shows - in 1979 she appeared on Match Game and won $6,000, and in 1980 she appeared on Password Plus.

Alley's first major role was as supporting role in the hit 1982 movie, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, where she played Lieutenant Saavik. Star Trek II was a major hit and Alley was offered a role in Star Trek III, which she turned down when the producers failed to meet her salary demands.

Alley later had a major role in the popular TV miniseries about the Civil War, North and South. Alley also had minor roles in other movies and TV shows throughout the mid-1980s until she was cast in her career-defining role as Rebecca Howe, the manager of the Cheers bar on the sitcom, Cheers.

Fans of Cheers liked Alley's character on Cheers - she was a very attractive woman and definitely had acting abilities and comedic talent. Alley won an Emmy for her role in 1991. Alley co-starred on Cheers from 1987 until the series finale in 1993.

While Alley was on Cheers, she also found time to appear in several popular major motion pictures, including Shoot to Kill, Look Who's Talking, and Look Who's Talking Too.

After Cheers went off the air in 1993 Alley continued acting in minor roles on various TV shows and movies through the mid-late 1990s. In 1997 she was cast in the starring role of Veronica's Closet, a sitcom about the head of a lingerie company. Veronica's Closet ran for three seasons, until its cancellation in 2000.

After the cancellation of Veronica's Closet, Alley cut back on acting a little bit and turned to the other passion in her life - greasy and fatty foods. Although once known as one of the sexiest actresses on TV, Alley tarnished her image by adding at least 100 lbs of pure fat to her body, becoming a morbidly obese woman and reportedly topping the scales at over 300 lbs. Her fans were shocked and saddened to see her so overweight.

Alley, however, maintained a good nature and decided to do something about her appearance - she starred in the 2005 mockumentary, Fat Actress, a sitcom inspired by real events in Alley's life. Alley also became the spokeswoman for Jenny Craig and kept to a strict diet between 2004 - early 2008 when she was fired for being too fat. During her reign as spokeswoman, Alley kept to a strict diet, eventually trimming down to 145 lbs at one point.

However, after being fired as spokeswoman, Alley stopped exercising and pigged out on food once again and has admitted that she has gained 83 lbs since early 2008.

Kirstie Alley is apparently addicted to Hostess Ho-Ho's and Ding Dongs, and almost certainly purchases 2-lb bags of M&M's and cuts open the bags and pours all of the M&M's directly into her open mouth. Although Kirstie Alley has had a very successful acting careers, the fact that she morphed from one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood into a morbidly obese hog means that Kirstie Alley is one washed-up celebrity!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Danny Cooksey

Danny Cooksey is a former child star perhaps best known for his role as "Sam McKinney" on the popular mid-1980s TV sitcom, Diff'rent Strokes.

Cooksey was born on November 2, 1975 in Moore, Oklahoma. Cooksey's mother moved with him to Los Angeles in 1980 to allow him to pursue a career in country music. His first acting role was in an episode of Dukes of Hazzard in 1983. Cooksey was later invited to audition for Diff'rent Strokes by an agent who saw one of Cooksey's performances.

Diff'rent Strokes was one of the top rated sitcoms between the late 1970s and early 1980s. The show centered on the crazy antics of Arnold Drummond (played by Gary Coleman), a young black boy who along with his brother Willis (played by Todd Bridges) was adopted by a rich white man who lived in a luxurious penthouse apartment in downtown New York City. Arnold was the star of the show for many years. However, by the mid-1980s the show's writers were running out of ideas and the show's viewership was flagging.

The writers initially tried to mix things up by showing an episode where Arnold's best friend Dudley (played by fellow washed-up celebrity Shavar Ross) was molested by a man who ran a bicycle repair shop. Molestation seemed to be a strange and deranged source of humor, but the writers were at their wit's end and needed something to increase viewership. However, the writers quickly realized that they couldn't have Dudley get molested in every single episode and that they would need a sustainable new "hook" to draw in viewers. The new hook was the addition of two new characters - Maggie McKinney, a middle-aged woman, and her young son, Sam McKinney. The McKinneys were added to the cast at the start of the seventh season when Maggie McKinney married Mr. Drummond and moved into the penthouse apartment with Sam.

Sam McKinney was an extremely unpopular character. Fans of Diff'rent Strokes hated Sam - he was extremely annoying and bratty. There was a notorious episode where Arnold and Sam were at a store and a deranged man, Don Brown, kidnapped Sam. The story line was that Mr. Brown's son had recently been killed and he wanted to replace his son with Sam. Mr. Brown convinced his own family that Sam was a homeless kid who they should adopt. Mr. Brown threatened to kill Sam's family if he tried to contact the police or run home. As shown in the image below, Mr. Brown used his large size to intimidate the diminutive Sam:

Casual observers of the show have noted the strong resemblance between Mr. Brown and professional wrestler Arn Anderson. I suspect that Sam was kidnapped while asking for an autograph. He probably threatened to kill Mr. Drummond with an atomic drop, spine buster, body slam, Boston Crab, or Cleveland Steamer.

Fans of Diff'rent Strokes were very happy when Sam was kidnapped because they assumed that he was being written off the show. Unfortunately, Sam was rescued when he telephoned Arnold and was able to provide the phone number from where he was calling. The police later picked him up. I thought that the conclusion of that episode was very unrealistic.

Sam was a bratty kid and I always thought that the more likely conclusion would have involved the kidnapper giving Sam up on his own. Sam was most likely a bed wetter until he was 13 years old and probably pissed his pants while sleeping at the home of his kidnappers. The kidnapper's entire house must have reeked of the smell of urine after a couple days. The stench probably would have been unbearable, leading the kidnapper to voluntarily give up Sam.

Cooksey's character helped run Diff'rent Strokes into the ground, leading to its cancellation in 1986, after the eighth season. After the cancellation of Diff'rent Strokes, Cooksey co-starred as Kevin Cavanaugh in the TV sitcom, The Cavanaughs from 1986-1989. Cooksey subsequently had a role in one of the most successful films of the 1990s, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, where he played the role, "ginger kid with mullet," a friend of star John Connor.

However, Cooksey's boyish looks faded when puberty hit and the demand for him in acting roles became practically non-existent. Cooksey has managed to keep busy over the years doing voice-over roles for crappy animated series and video games where he doesn't need to show his face. For example, he has had a speaking role in 24: The Game and in the cartoon, Xiaolin Showdown.

Cooksey has also ventured into music. He was the lead singer in the band Bad4Good in the early 1990s - that band released one CD, Refugee, in 1992. Here is a picture of his band. It appears as though they took this picture in order to appeal to pedophiles (Cooksey is on the far right in the photo):

Cooksey later participated in the bands Roadkill and Lucy's Milk. Cooksey is apparently a big fan of the Garfield comic strip because since 2004, he has been in a band called Arbuckle, which might be named after Jon Arbuckle, the owner of Garfield the cat in the comic strip.

Cooksey was a successful, albeit extremely annoying, child actor in the mid-1980s. However, once he boyish looks faded he was relegated to voice-over roles where he doesn't have to show his face. His career path has been somewhat similar, although not nearly as pathetic, as that of fellow ginger washed-up celebrity, Michael Oliver. For this and the other reasons discussed above, Danny Cooksey is one washed-up celebrity!