Episode VIII (Season Finale) - June 17, 2007
The eighth, and final, episode of Celebrity Fit Club began at the same track stadium as did the first episode. Dustin Diamond was being a super-bitch as usual and said that he wasn’t going to over-exert himself. As he had many times previously, Diamond was dead weight to his team. He said, “I’m not giving it my all… I could do more, but I don’t think I’m gonna.”
Maureen McCormick was upset with Diamond and asked him to not give up. Diamond replied, “It’s not giving up, it’s quitting.” Diamond appeared to be enjoying piss off his teammates by quitting. Diamond claimed that Maureen selfishly wanted Diamond to continue in the track events. He said, “You wanted me to go for your benefit.” As Maureen pled with Diamond to continue competing, Diamond rudely said to Maureen, "I feel like you're trying to talk me into bed."
Diamond subsequently threatened to screw over his team by not showing up at the season finale’s weigh-in. Diamond said, “I could not show up tomorrow and everybody is screwed.” Maureen said, “Dustin pissed me off. This is the last event and he’s walking away.”
Harvey called Diamond a "cockroach" and said he had hardly any respect for him. Da Brat mentioned, “Boy, if I see him on the street, I’m gonna have to fuck him up.”
Diamond told Ross the Intern that he managed to keep to the strategy he laid out in the first episode (i.e., of losing weight despite eating crap and not working out). Ross replied, “You also managed to make seven other people not like you very much.”
At the end of the track and field segment, Diamond said, “Am I an ass because of the way I deliver the truth or am I an ass because I speak the truth?” Diamond also said, “I would rather eat a turd than come back to another Fit Camp. It doesn’t even have to be a human turd … just a turd.” It was unclear as to whether Diamond would eat a turd unleashed by fellow washed-up celebrity Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding from Saved by The Bell).
Next, the entire cast was shown in the weigh-in room for the final time. During Kimberly Locke’s weigh-in, Kimberley complained about Diamond’s behavior on the show. Diamond was clearly annoyed, as he kept making faces while Kimberley was talking.
Diamond was the last person to be weighed. When Ant called his name to walk up to the scale, Diamond said, “D-man walking … that’s the truth.” Apparently that comment was meant to be funny, but nobody was laughing. Diamond had a good weigh-in, losing 13 pounds, mostly likely due to the fat burners he admitted to taking during the previous episode’s weigh-in ceremony.
When Dr. Ian Smith told Diamond he should try to lose weight in a healthier manner, Diamond became very combative in an almost childlike way. Diamond claimed that Smith was upset that he lost so much weight by eating crap because that would somehow hurt the sales of Smith’s diet books.
Stacey Kaiser, the show’s psychotherapist, told Smith not to argue with Diamond because Diamond was nothing more than an “isolated, lonely guy.”
A video clip of Diamond making fun of Da Brat and Cledus Judd was subsequently played. Diamond wore a wig that resembled Princess Leia’s hairdo from Star Wars (it was supposed to resemble Da Brat) and pretended to be Da Brat. He said, “All I know is my nuts is killing me.”
Diamond subsequently put on another wig and pretended to be Cledus. The Cledus wig had only a few hairs on it and was apparently meant to poke fun at the hair plugs that Cledus appears to have gotten during the course of the season. While pretending to be Cledus, Diamond said, “[I] got my plugs… You got ta do it… Don’t get me talking about my daughter … my daughter! Waahaa!!!” Diamond also did some fake crying to make fun of Cledus’ typical fragile emotional state.
Cledus was irate with Diamond and stood up and started walking toward the scale. Cledus said, “Fuck you! … You’re a loser, Dustin.” Meanwhile, Harvey said to Cledus, “He ain’t worth it. This piece of shit is out of here!” During this exchange that Diamond completely provoked, Diamond started complaining about a “hostile work environment” and said, “My lawyer is gonna be on the phone immediately.”
Everyone was up in arms with Diamond’s childish and unprovoked attacks on Cledus and Da Brat. Stacey Kaiser said, “It wasn’t funny. It was sad.” Da Brat mentioned, “Your stupid ass thought it was funny. It's not funny. Nobody laughed.” Diamond was proud of himself and said to Harvey, “I am a winner tonight.” Harvey replied, “I have no respect for you. Now get the fuck off the scale.”
The entire cast was subsequently instructed to head outside to the large balance scale. Diamond was frightened by Cledus and snuck out a side door to avoid a confrontation with the other cast members. As the teams were weighed on the scale, Ant announced that Diamond’s team had won due to the hard work of Tiffany, Maureen, and Ross the Intern. It was notable that Ant did not give any praise to Diamond.
At the end of the episode, an interview with Da Brat was shown where she had some choice words for Diamond. Da Brat said,
"Dustin showed the true person that he is, and I guess that’s an asshole. He needs attention. His life is miserable. Nobody wants to cast Screech. You know what I’m saying? So, I’m sorry. It’s not our fault. Don’t take it out on other people. We’re proud of what we’ve done. We’ve had great success here. We love the show. We love everybody else except him, and I’ve met amazing people and it’s been a wonderful ride."
The season ended and it was obvious that everyone hated Diamond. I was amazed at what an ass he was on the show. It's obvious that Diamond deserves all of the ridicule he receives on the Internet and in real life. Diamond expects everyone to kiss his ass because he played the annoying Screech. Unfortunately for Diamond, nobody respects him for playing Screech.
***Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode II
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VII
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond - (2000 - Present)
Dustin Diamond - (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance)