Sunday, June 10, 2007

Dustin Diamond (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance - Episode VII)

Episode VII - June 10, 2007

The seventh episode of Celebrity Fit Club began at a BMX dirt bike racing course. Harvey informed the cast members that Dustin Diamond was returning to the show that day and everyone was upset. Tiffany said “Throwing Dustin in the mix is like sentencing us to death. Really, you know … it’s terrible.Da Brat mentioned, “It was just so nice without him.


When he showed up, he offered no explanation for his absence from the previous episode. Harvey told Diamond, “Personally I don’t think you deserve any more attention than a freaking cockroach.

During the BMX race, the men on the teams raced against each other, followed by the women racing against themselves. During warm-up laps, Diamond showed just how weak and out of shape he was when he fell off of his bike. Diamond clearly realized that he was a complete wimp and started pretending that he was sick, laying the groundwork for his eventual weak excuse following his pathetic performance in the bike race. Harvey didn’t believe Diamond’s excuses and said, “He’s full of shit. There’s nothing wrong with him.

After the warm-up laps, the men raced against each other. Diamond’s effort was absolutely awful and he showed the world that he is a 100% pussy as he was smoked by Cledus, Warren G, and Ross the Intern in the race, finishing a distant fourth place in the race. Diamond was supposed to race a second time, but he wanted to wimp out and quit. He claimed that he was sick and wanted a “sick pass” so that he wouldn’t have to race the course a second time. The show’s doctor examined Diamond and said that Diamond’s pulse was normal and he seemed to be ok to compete. Absolutely nobody believed Diamond’s excuses that he was too dizzy and sick to compete and Diamond eventually returned to the starting line for a second race.

During the second race, Diamond quickly fell far behind and then gave up and got off of his bike and quit. In quitting, Diamond showed that he’s an even bigger joke and loser in real-life than his old character Screech was on Saved By The Bell. When Diamond quit, Harvey said, “You gotta be shitting me. That is fucking pathetic!

After the second race, Cledus, the winner of the race, seemed to be annoyed that Diamond was getting so much camera time despite his pathetic efforts. Da Brat said, “We’ve seen him quit before. It’s nothing new.

Next, the cast was shown entering into the weigh-in room on the next day. It was kind of funny because Diamond appeared to be 100% healthy, despite his protestations the day before that he was too sick to compete in the bike race. Diamond was wearing an obnoxious shirt that read “Star of the Show.” When asked later about the shirt, Diamond said, “I like this shirt. I’m all about truth and logic. I’m back and I’m dressed to kill.

Everyone who saw Diamond’s shirt when he walked in had annoyed looks on their faces. Ant asked Ross and Tiffany what they thought about Diamond’s return to the show, and both indicated that they thought that Diamond had rudely disrespected their Fit Club team.

Kimberley Locke was the first person to be weighed in. When asked about Diamond’s return, she poked fun at what a pathetic loser he is and said that Diamond’s return to the show would make it easier for her team to win. The clear implication, of course, was that Diamond was dead weight and that his chunky ass would drag down his team.

Cledus was one of the next people weighed in. When Cledus found out he lost his entire target weight for the show, he was so happy that he said he was going to go outside and jump in the pool. Everyone except Diamond followed Cledus outside to the pool, into which Cledus and Kimberley did jump. As he stayed behind, Diamond said, “I’ve seen someone jump in a pool before.


Diamond was the last person to be weighed. Diamond lost the five pounds he had gained during his previous appearance on the show, and his weight dropped to 200 lbs. When asked how he lost the weight, Diamond said that he had been taking Zantrax-3, a fat burning supplement. When he mentioned his supplement use, Warren G was livid, and considered Diamond’s drug usage to constitute cheating.

During his weigh-in, Harvey asked Diamond if he wanted to do a boot-camp workout prior to the final episode of the show. Diamond obnoxiously claimed that he would have to check his schedule book and get back to Harvey. Harvey was annoyed with Diamond for acting so self-important and pretending like he was too busy to know whether he had time for a single workout.

Finally, the episode ended and a preview was shown of the upcoming season finale. Apparently Diamond dresses up as Cledus and Da Brat and films video clips of himself mocking both of them. The video clips are played during the final weigh-in and Cledus looks like he’s ready to punch Diamond in the face and put his foot up Diamond’s ass. As Cledus approaches Diamond after the clip is played, Diamond starts threatening to sue Cledus. Dustin Diamond is such a loser! I cannot wait to see the final episode.

***Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode II

Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VIII
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond - (2000 - Present)
Dustin Diamond - (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

He might be a total LOSER on CFC, but he's the #1 winner on CSC. Cebebrity SHIT club. I eagerly wait for the day that someone beats him to NEAR DEATH for running his mouth. He's a sorry soul.

Jewve Been Framed said...

Screech is such a fucking pussy. No wonder us gays love using and abusing him. Whenever things don't go his way he threatens to get litigious, enforcing another Jewish stereo-type further hurting our image. He is weak nerdy and pointless. A cracked up starving bum could take sexual advantage of Screech without much hassle. He's pathetic.

It's about time Screech was drowned under a sea of spunk. Any gays out there ready to donate? Operation Drown Screech in Spunk is now underway!

J said...

It's about time Screech was drowned under a sea of spunk. Any gays out there ready to donate? Operation Drown Screech in Spunk is now underway!

I would love to see that on Pay-Per-View, or YouTube.

Anonymous said...

Jaleel White, please. Huge ego, no career - must profile!

Anonymous said...

We all love you dustin we all love you dustin dont let these people hurt you darling.
Love mommy and daddy
Ps. We left Jewve milk shake in the fridge for you so enjoy.