Friday, May 17, 2013

Dustin Diamond (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance - Episode VIII)

Episode VIII - April 27, 2008

I apologize for the belatedness of this recap for the season finale of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp. I missed the episode when it originally aired on VH1 in April and have not yet seen it in a re-run. Luckily, however, VH1 posted video of this episode on its website.

The season finale of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp began with 7 of the 8 contestants riding on the bus toward the boot camp site. Not surprisingly, the missing contestant was Dustin Diamond. About Diamond’s absence, Erin Moran, the second most washed-up celebrity on the show, said, “I really didn’t care that Dustin wasn’t there.

Erin also asked the other cast members whether they thought that her fans would be upset with her for admitted during the previous episode that she only came on the show for a paycheck. The other cast members jumped on Erin for what she had admitted in the previous episode and Tina Yothers essentially told Erin Moran that she let down women for what she had done.

After arriving at the boot camp site, the cast members exited the bus and lined up in front of drill instructor Harvey Walden. Harvey told Erin that he was shocked by her confession in the previous episode, but that he still had faith in her. Tocarra Jones gave Erin a disgusted look while Harvey was talking to her and said in a later interview, “Erin, she frustrates me so bad. Like she is a teammate, 100% when the camera are on. But they turn them [sic] cameras off and she go [sic] home, she doesn’t care.

Harvey then said to the contestants, “Dustin was only here for a paycheck as well. Now he wanted to get paid in advance for this week’s fit camp [episode]. That didn’t happen. So as a result, he’s not here.

About Diamond’s antics, A.J. Benza said, “Dustin makes his own problems. You have to trust people. If they’re gonna pay you, they’re gonn a pay you. .. It’s a professional world. These aren’t loan sharks.

The teams then had separate team meetings. The blue team (i.e., Diamond’s team) went into the mess hall to talk. The team was pissed that Diamond was missing. Brian Dunkelman also mentioned that everyone on his team ate nothing but chicken, drank a gallon of water, and did a lot of cardio during the previous week in an effort to drop body fat.

Erin Moran’s red team convened in the lounge. Her teammate mentioned all of the intense cardio they had done during the previous week and then asked Erin what she had done to lose weight. Erin mentioned that she signed some posters for fans and did short treadmill workouts. Willie Aames and Tocarra were clearly upset with Erin’s lack of effort. Tocarra said that Erin seemed like she didn’t “give a shit.” Her other teammates said that Erin shouldn’t win any grand prize if her team were to win the overall competition; instead, they argued that Tina Yothers deserved Erin’s winning share.

Put on the spot, Erin initially seemed to agree that she didn’t deserve to share in a winning prize. However, when Willie later told the blue team about this plan, Erin said that she hadn’t agreed to it and her teammates eventually dropped the idea. In any event, Tina Yothers said she wouldn't go along with the scheme because she already had her own team.

Diamond eventually showed up at the boot camp and sat by himself in his barracks alone, annoying everyone on the show. Tina Yothers said that Diamond had one episode left to make a mark … “a mark of bullshit.

A.J. went over to the barracks to talk to Diamond in an effort to convince Diamond to participate. Dunkelman said, “A.J. went to see Dustin while he was on the phone with his lawyer who, by the way, is probably ready to kill himself by now.

When Diamond saw A.J. enter the barracks, he said, “This is about business. This is about payment … I got to go with what my lawyer says on this.

A.J. was upset with Diamond and told him that he would get paid. He said, “Let’s just go, it’s a fucking kiddie race … it’s schoolyard shit. Let’s go play … be a man for fucking 25 minutes … come on, man. I’ve got girls running faster than you!” A.J. then stormed out of the barracks, slamming the door on his way out. Diamond eventually wandered over to the lounge where everyone was waiting for him.

In a subsequently filmed interview, Diamond said,

You know, it’s ‘show business,’ not ‘show charity.’ So you’ve got to take care of business first. … Everyone was pissed off at me, but I came back as a professional to honor my obligation. … I always honor my obligations.

The red and blue teams lined up for a fitness challenge involving an obstacle course and a tower to climb.  Each person had to complete each obstacle.  The teams were informed that the team that won the obstacle course would win five "Fit Factor" points. 

The teams had to run over logs, climb a net, climb across monkey bars, perform a mud crawl under rope, run through tires, and climb a tower.  Erin Moran was unable to run up balance beam log and her team was accessed a one minute penalty.  The blue team was accessed 7 minutes in penalties and took 24:13, for a total penalty-adjusted time of 31:13.  The red team was accessed only 1 minute in penalties, but took 30:37 to complete the obstacle course, for a penalty-adjusted time of 31:37.

Tocarra was very upset that the blue team won the 5 Fit Factor points, because she thought it was an unfair advantage.

After the challenge, everyone was served dinner and then Harvey Walden showed up at the dinner and walked everyone outside to the woods for a challenge.  They met a man who walked across a bed of broken glass and also jumped on the glass.  The man challenged everyone to walk across the glass.  AJ Benza went across the glass first, followed by Diamond.  Eventually everyone walked across the glass.

On the final night before the last weigh-in, Willie Aames and AJ were shown exercising.  Erin Moran asked Aames to get off the treadmill so that she could get on the treadmill and was upset when he didn't want to get off.  Aames then got off the treadmill and walked up a hill outside.  When the blue team was informed that Aames was outside walking, Diamond justified his own laziness by saying, "That's overkill, man.  I was tempted to go up the hill with him just 'cause I don't think it would be expected, but that's invading on sleep time and sleep time is very important."

The next morning, a mariachi band woke everyone up so they could do one final workout prior to the final weigh-in.  The final workout started with boxing drills involving punching bags, jogging, jumping rope.  Diamond whined throughout the exercise, claiming "I can't do it."   Next, the contestants had to run while wearing a backpacking contain the exact amount of weight that each individual contest had lost so far in the season.  Finally, Sommore and Diamond each had to climb the tower from a workout in the fourth episode. Both were able to successfully climb the tower.

Finally, everyone showed up for the final weigh-in.  During Willie Aames's weigh-in, Willie was so satisfied with his performance on the show that he thanked the judges and then told Drill Instructor Harvey Walden that he wanted to give him something.  Walden became visibly concerned as Aames took off his pants, but was relieved when he discovered that Willie did so to reveal a creepy tattoo of the drill instruction that Aames had drawn on his leg.

Diamond stepped on the scale and discovered that he weighed 194 lbs and lost 3 pounds.  He closed out the season with a total loss of 23 pounds.  During the show, Diamond lost 10.6% of his body weight and 11.5% of his body fat during the show.

Erin Moran was the last to weigh in.  She gained 1 pound during the final weigh-in, much to the chagrin of her teammates on the red team - her teammates were visibly upset when her poor performance was revealed.   Willie Aames and Tocarra Jones both told Moran that they were pissed off at her performance.  She lost only 3 pounds during the season.  She lost 2.4% of her body weight and 9.2% of her body fat.

After everyone was weighed, Ant revealed the Fit Factor scores for each team, which was calculated by summing the % weight lost and the % body fat lost for each member of each team.  Diamond's blue team had a Fit Factor of 96.8, whereas Erin Moran's red team had a Fit Factor of 100.4.  Ant then added the 5 Fit Factor points that the blue team won during the final challenge and revealed that the blue team won the competition with a total Fit Factor score of 101.8.  When the results were read, the red team appeared to be shocked and it was clear that Toccarra, AJ Benz, and Willie Aames were visibly upset with Erin Moran for costing them the victory, which effectively cost the red team at least $150k in prizes.

After viewing the 2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp show, it is clear that Erin Moran is almost as washed up as Dustin Diamond, the true benchmark of washed-up celebrities!

**Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode I
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode II
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VI

Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp - Episode VII

Dustin Diamond - (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance)
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond (2000-Present)

Friday, May 10, 2013

David Garrison

David Garrison is an actor best know for co-starring during the first four seasons of the FOX sitcom Married ... With Children from 1987-1990. Garrison's hubris, however, apparently got the better of him, as he left the show thinking he move move on to bigger and better things, yet his career practically plummeted off the face of the earth.

Garrison was born on June 30, 1952 in Long Branch, New Jersey, and graduated summa cum laude from Boston University's School of Fine Arts. His first acting role with in the 1980 TV movie, A Day with Conrad Green. He subsequently appeared in minor roles in the 1980 Stephen King movie, Creepshow, and appeared in a 1984 episode of Remington Steele. Garrison finally caught his first decent break in 1984 when he was cast in a role in the sitcom, It's Your Move, where he co-starred with Jason Bateman. It's Your Move was cancelled after only one season, but it lasted long enough to catch the eyes of the casting director for Married ... With Children.

Garrison played the role of Steve Rhoades, the next-door-neighbor to the Bundy family on Married ... With Children beginning in 1987 on the then-fledgling Fox Network. The Fox Network was launched in October 1986 as the "fourth network" to compete with the big-three national television networks, NBC, ABC, and CBS. The Fox Network was in desperate need of a hit to allow it to succeed on a nation-wide basis and Married ... With Children was arguably the network's first hit TV show. Married ... With Children was often a raunchy, yet genuinely funny show that offered a warped view of the American family that was not being shown on network TV at the time. The show was known for its frequent use of "toilet humor" and was particularly popular among adolescent boys.

Steve Rhoades and his wife Marcy Rhoades were successful bankers who would frequently stop by the Bundy household practically on a weekly basis. Steve Rhoades was a straight-laced character, although Al Bundy, the patriarch of the Bundy household (played by Ed O'Neill), often got Steve Rhoades to loosen up and left him mixed up in various hijinks.

Although Married ... With Children started weakly, it slowly began to gain nationwide appeal. Ironically, the show became more popular as it became the well-known target of a boycott by a viewer who was offended by a particularly raunchy show where Al Bundy and Steve Rhoades visit an adult store to purchase bras in the episode entitled, "Her Cups Runneth Over." By the end of the 4th season, the Nielson ratings for Married ... With Children had reached #50, up from #142 in its first season.

Despite the increasing popularity and success of Married ... With Children, Garrison abruptly left the show after the fourth season ended in 1990. Rumors circulated at the time that Garrison was sick of the raunchy material and thought that he could do better if he left. He reportedly asked the producers to let him out of his contract so that he could act on Broadway. The producers granted his request and allowed him to leave. However, instead of appearing on Broadway, Garrison's first role after leaving Married ... With Children was a role in another sitcom, entitled Working It Out. Working It Out was an unpopular show which appeared on NBC for only one season.

The producers of Married ... With Children must have been upset with Garrison for appearing on another sitcom right after leaving the show. However, any anger must have quickly dissipated as Married ... With Children continued to improve in popularity when Ted McGinley was added to the cast as Marcy Rhoades's new husband, Jefferson D'Arcy. Garrison certainly could not have predicted that Married ... With Children would air for another 7 seasons and must have made the series regulars millionaires many times over. Garrison's career after leaving Married ... With Children did not exactly turn out as well as Garrison could have predicted. Instead of becoming a star on another sitcom or on Broadway, Garrison's career went into a tailspin as he all but left the public eye. Garrison has had a number of Broadway roles over the last 20+ years, but he is not a star.  He has appeared sporadically in productions such as Silence! The Musical, Wicked, By The Way, Meet Vera Stark, A Day in Hollywood / A Night in the Ukraine, Titanic, Torch Song Trilogy, The Pirates of Penzance, and Bells are Ringing.

Garrison was willing to return to a Married ... With Children spinoff in 1995 when he appeared in the backdoor pilot for Radio Free Trumaine, in which Garrison would have reprised his role of Steve Rhoades as the dean of a fictitious college. Unfortunately for Garrison, however, the show was not picked up.


David Garrison threw away a successful career as an actor on Married ... With Children because he apparently thought he was too good for the show. However, the departure proved to be the worst decision of his professional career as Married ... With Children lasted for seven years after he left, yet his Broadway and subsequent sitcom career have essentially gone nowhere. Accordingly, there should be no doubt that David Garrison is one washed-up celebrity!