Dustin Diamond (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance - Episode I)

Episode I - April 22, 2007

The episode started with all eight contestants on the show breaking up into teams (four guys versus four girls) and doing several track and field events and an obstacle course and running up steps at a track stadium. Diamond was shown doing the long jump and he looked really funny running. Diamond has an enormous gut and it affects his balance when he runs. His legs are chunky and completely devoid of muscular definition.

In one of the events, everyone had to run a quarter mile sprint around the track. Diamond's time was 1:49. (If any of you ran track in high school, you know that is an unbelievably slow time for a quarter mile sprint.) Seriously, if you walked as fast as you could, you would come close to that time.

Next, they showed the gang in the judging room where everyone had to be weighed in. Diamond kept interrupting during other people's weigh-ins and would say stupid things like "trust the dust." When Kimberly Locke was being weighed in, Harvey (the trainer) and Dr. Ian Smith were telling her to cut back on pizza when Diamond rudely interrupted and said "Stick with the pizza. Trust the Dust." Everyone turned around and stared at Diamond with a look on their faces that seemed to express the thought "what a dick."

When Diamond was being weighed in, he said he was going to lose weight without cutting out junk food. Diamond said "I battle with truth and logic, therefore I can never be wrong" when discussing how he was going to lose weigh. His statement was perplexing and didn't make much sense.

They showed a clip of Diamond sitting in a chair at home sucking down chips, a burger, and cheeze whiz. Diamond was shown wearing a wifebeater undershirt. His arms are very flabby and he has a fruity tatoo on his right arm. Jennifer Misner, Diamond's girlfriend, was shown and she said Diamond has gained 35-40 lbs since she's known him. Here are some of the pictures of Diamond at his house scrafing down greasy food:




When Diamond was being weighed in, he kept talking and talking. His verbosity eventually prompted the show's psychologist, Stacey Kaiser, to tell Diamond to put his hand over his mouth and "shut up and listen" when she gave him advice he did not want to hear. Diamond weighed in at a chubby 217 lbs with 28.8% body fat. Here are pictures of Diamond without a shirt on, showing just how fat he has become (he almost looks pregnant!):


One funny scene occured a few minutes later when Cletus Judd was weighed in and referred to Diamond as "Screech." Everyone smiled and started laughing except for Diamond, who was upset.


***Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Episode II
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Episode III
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Episode IV
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club: Episode V
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VI
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VII
Dustin Diamond - Celebrity Fit Club Episode VIII
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond (2000-Present)
Dustin Diamond - (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance)

Dustin Diamond (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance)

As you have probably already heard, Dustin Diamond is appearing on the fifth season of Celebrity Fit Club. There have already been several reports published about how the enitre cast hated Diamond and how Diamond was a real jerk and obnoxious to other people on the show. I was initially going to edit the previous Dustin Diamond entry (i.e., Dustin Diamond (2000-present)), but I decided that Diamond was going to provide more than enough material to justify an entire new post. Moreover, the previous entry was getting really long.

Be sure to check back periodically, as I will provide an episode summary after each episode of the show. My summaries will be focused on Diamond's actions on the show as well as his interactions with other cast-members.

Episode I Summary
Episode II Summary
Episode III Summary
Episode IV Summary
Episode V Summary
Episode VI Summary
Episode VII Summary
Episode VIII Summary

***Be sure to check out my other Dustin Diamond entries:
Dustin Diamond - The Early Years
Dustin Diamond (2000-Present)
Dustin Diamond - (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance)

David Faustino

David Faustino is a former child actor best known for his role as "Bud Bundy" on the successful FOX sitcom Married With Children from 1987-1997. Fans of Married With Children saw Faustino grow from a youth into a young adult. Here are pictures of a young Faustino from his early years on the show:

One of the major themes with the character Bud, was Bud's completely inept skills with the ladies. Faustino's character was also known for his long mullet. When the show started, Faustino was an undersized runt. The show's producers probably thought that Faustino would eventually grow into the role, but it never happened, as Faustino appeared to stop growing at age 12.

Unlike many of the child stars profile on this blog, I actually think that Faustino was perfect for his role. He was funny and was very believable as Bud Bundy. The fact that he stopped growing at a young age probably helped prolong the show. Married with Children was a decent enough show, and was definitely very funny at times, but it is pretty obvious that the show's producers ran out of ideas in the first few seasons, but somehow managed to stretch the show into a 10th season. Faustino's character was definitely a major factor in show's success.

Faustino, like other child stars (such as Brian Austin Green, Corey Feldman, and Dustin Diamond), made an unsuccessful attempt to branch out into singing. Faustino called himself "D L'il" and released a rap album in 1992 entitled "Balistyx," named after a hip-hop/funk nightclub he owned on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, California. The album was a critical and commercial failure and Faustino apparently abandoned his rap stardom aspirations after the album's release.

Faustino's foray into rap was parodied on Married With Children. Specifically, in several of the episodes in the early 1990s Faustino's Bud Bundy character began calling himself "Grandmaster B," a white rapper. Everyone else in the Bundy family would conveniently forget his name and instead call him names like "Grandma B," "Crossdresser B," "Bedwetter B," and "Grandmaster Virgin."

Faustino actually managed to score a hot wife, Andrea Elmer, in 2004. They look like the odd couple in the picture below, with his wife towering over the diminutive Faustino. Their marriage life was apparently troubled and Faustino filed for divorce in 2007.



Ever since Married With Children's cancellation in 1997, Faustino has struggled to revive his career. Faustino's biggest role in the past 10 years was on the 2002 celebrity/reality television special Celebrity Boot Camp. You probably don't remember him from the show because as far as I can tell nobody watched that series. He has also appeared in crappy movies such as the 2001 low-budget film Killer Bud.

Like fellow washed-up celebrity Jeremy Miller, Faustino has recently appeared in a McDonald's "Menuaires" commercial. All of this makes David Faustino one washed-up celebrity!

Lane Garrison

Lane Garrison is a young actor who was a rising star in Hollywood until very recently when he made the ill-fated decision to drive while heavily intoxicated.

Garrison was born in Dallas, Texas on May 23, 1980 and raised in Richardson, Texas. He was a troubled youth and admits to having been a thief. He stole items such as cars and stereos. He had a troubled relationship with his mother and moved out of his mother's house at age seventeen. As luck would have it, his family's minister was a nice man who took Garrison under his wing and let Garrison stay at his house with his family until Garrison straightened his life out. Surprisingly, the minister was Joe Simpson, the father of pop stars Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

In 1998, at the age of eighteen, Garrison drove to Los Angeles to become an actor. His first acting job was in backpack commercial that paid $3,500. Garrison struggled to make it for several years until he finally got his big break and was cast as David "Tweener" Apolskis on the hit TV show Prison Break. His character was a punk who was sent to the Fox River State Penitentiary. His character earned the name "Tweener" because he acted like a wigger when he arrived at Fox River and neither the black inmates nor the white inmates would associate with him. Tweener was immediately a mark for some of the gay inmates on the show, such as Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell. In one of the episodes Tweener cried himself to sleep because T-Bag kept threatening to molest him. A sadistic prison guard, Brad Bellick, quickly arranged for a large inmate to share Tweener's cell. The large inmate eventually raped Tweener. As a result of the abuse, Tweener was eventually included in the main plotline involving several inmates escaping the prison.





The Tweener character was killed off the show in 2006. However, Garrison's character built a loyal following of fans and he was eventually cast in a minor role in the 2007 major motion picture Shooter. Garrison must have felt like he was on top of the world as he was undoubtedly on the path toward bigger and better movie and/or TV roles.

Unfortunately, Garrison's world and career imploded on December 2, 2006 when he was involved in a fatal car crash. On that fateful day Garrison had been drinking and ran into some teens (one 17-year-old boy, and two 15-year-old girls) at a grocery store. Although he didn't know the teens, they recognized him from Prison Break and asked him to accompany them to a party. Garrison obliged them and showed up at the party where he had at least one drink with his underage fans. According to some sources, Garrison was doing several shots with the group of high school students when he crashed his SUV on the way to the liquor store to restock on his particular brand of vodka. In the crash, Garrison lost control of his SUV, jumped a curb and ran into a tree at a high rate of speed. His 17-year-old male passenger died in the crash and the two 15-year-old girls were also injured, one critically. It was later reported that Garrison's blood alcohol level at the time of the crash was more than twice the legal limit (i.e., greater than .16%) and that was under the influence of cocaine.

On March 8, 2007 Garrison was charged with vehicular manslaughter for his role in the crash. Garrison has accepted responsibility for his actions and on April 11, 2007 it was reported that Garrison would plead guilty to the charge of vehicular manslaughter.

Garrison faces up to six years and eight months in prison for his crime. Garrison is a small man and he had better hope that life doesn't imitate art when he is sentenced to prison time because he sure won't want to experience the kind of abuse that his character Tweener did at the hands of horny aggressors at the Fox River State Penitentiary in Prison Break.

For the many reasons discussed above, Lane Garrison is one washed-up celebrity!

** I take no pleasure in this blog post because someone died in Garrison's crash and Garrison seemed to be a decent guy until his accident.

*** Update - August 2, 2007 ***
Lane Garrison was sentenced to 90 days in California state prison today. Liberal judge Elden Fox infuriated the parents of the kids killed in Garrison's DUI accident by sentencing Garrison to a 90 day stint during which psychiatrists and others will evaluate him to determine whether he is a suitable candidate for straight probation. The odds are that the judge will let Garrison go free after a mere 3 months in prison. Garrison should thank his lucky stars that he was not assigned the judge from the Paris Hilton trial. If he had that judge, he would have been looking at years in prison.


*** Update - November 1, 2007 ***
Lane Garrison was sentenced to 40 months in California state prison for his DUI accident. Before the sentencing, an emotional Garrison told the familes of his victims that he was "'genuinely remorseful' and 'sickened' by his bahevior that night." Garrison will be credited for the time he has already served while undergoing the psychological evaluation discussed above. Garrison was also ordered to pay about $300,000 to the families of his victims.

Todd Bridges

Todd Bridges is a former child star who played the part of "Willis Jackson" on the hit TV sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, which ran from 1978-1986. Willis was the older brother of Arnold Jackson (played by fellow washed-up celebrity Gary Coleman). The Jacksons were the black children from a poor Harlem background whose deceased mother previously worked for a rich white widower Phillip Drummond (played by Conrad Bain), who eventually adopted them. I always enjoyed Diff'rent Strokes, although I will admit that the show really ran out of steam by the mid-1980s.

When Diff'rent Strokes was finally cancelled, Bridges' entertainment career hit a standstill and he quickly turned to drugs and a life of crime. Bridges was arrested for carrying a concealed firearm in 1983, near the end of his time on Diff'rent Strokes, and Bridges was fined $240. In 1987 Bridges was arrested for armed robbery after being accused of pulling a gun on a mechanic and taking back his BMW without paying the $500 bill (the charge was later dropped after a witness said wasn't sure if it was Bridges). Bridges also received a suspended sentence in 1987 after pleading no contest to charges of making a bomb threat against an auto customizer. Bridges was later arrested in 1988 on suspicion of reckless driving.

Although those were all serious crimes, they pale in comparison to the criminal charges brought against Bridges on February 2, 1989. On that day, in the midst of a four-day cocaine bender, the then-23-year-old actor was arrested on suspicion of shooting an accused drug dealer at a South Central L.A. crack den. Prosecutors claimed that Bridges (who later admitted to a 14-gram-a-day cocaine habit) shot an accused drug dealer eight times at close range (the man survived his wounds).

Bridges was jailed and bail was set at $2 million. Bridges must have soiled his pants when the charges were brought because he paid superlawyer (and later O.J. Simpson murder defense lawyer) Johnnie Cochran to represent him. Bridges, who said that he had turned to drugs to cope with personal problems, testified that he was so intoxicated on cocaine on the night in question that he couldn't remember whether he had fired the shots. Two juries eventually cleared Bridges of all charges.

Despite the acquittal, Bridges failed to clean up his act. In 1990 Bridges was arrested on suspicion of cocaine possession (no charges were filed). On March 7, 1993 Bridges was arrested for stabbing a border at his home. On December 29, 1993, Bridges was arrested for transporting methamphetamine (speed). In 1997 he was charged with assault with a deadly weapon after he repeatedly rammed a friend in another car in a fit of rage. He pled guilty to the lesser charge of vandalism, performed court-ordered community service and paid a fine.

Bridge's criminal behavior eventually died down as he finally sobered up in the late 1990s. Since then Bridges has attempted to make a triumphant return to acting. Unfortunately for Bridges, the best roles he has been able to obtain are roles portraying himself as a washed-up actor on FOX TV shows. In 2002 he fought fellow washed-up celebrity Vanilla Ice on Celebrity Boxing, and in 2006 he appeared on Skating with Celebrities.

For all of the many reasons set forth above, Todd Bridges is one washed-up celebrity!

Tina Yothers

Tina Yothers is a former child star who acted on the hit 1980s TV show Family Ties where she played Jennifer Keaton, the youngest daughter in the Keaton family. Here are some pictures of Yothers from her early days on the show:

Yothers was the younger sister on Family Ties of the then sex symbol Justine Bateman. Yothers was often referred to as the "homely" daughter on the show, and was not known for her looks. The producers had her grow her hair long and curly to keep up with the late-1980s style in an effort to draw in male viewers as shown below:

Unfortunately, Yother's new hairstyle never did win over young male viewers and a running joke was created among Family Ties fans that Yothers was not the most attractive girl, as depicted in this "Pathetic Geek Stories" cartoon that was originally posted over at The Onion:

Family Ties went off the air in 1989 when Yothers was 16 years old. When the show ended, Yothers abandoned her blonde hair color and has worn it black ever since then. After Family Ties' cancellation, Yothers struggled to find acting work. She formed the grunge band Jaded with her brother Cory in 1996 and released the album Confessions in 2000. Unfortunately, the album was not commercially successful and the band broke up a short time later.

After a nine year absence from acting, Tina was given the lead role in Lovelace the Musical, a 2004 stage show based on the life of former pornographic movie star Linda Lovelace. Yothers has also gained a substantial amount of weight in recent years and was cast in the fourth season of Celebrity Fit Club. When I saw her on the saw I was in absolute shock because she appeared to have gained 75-100 lbs since the late 1980s. In her defense she had apparently just had a child, but that doesn't account for such a large weight gain. When she started on the show she weighed in at over 200 lbs.

Yothers actually performed well on Celebrity Fit Club and managed to drop 42 lbs during the show. However, despite her impressive weight loss, there should no doubt that Tina Yothers is one washed-up celebrity!


*** Update - April 10, 2008 ***

Tina Yothers is appearing on Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp, and she does seem like a decent person. Recaps of the episodes from Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp can be found here.

Brian Bonsall

Brian Bonsall is a former child star born in 1981 and best known for his roles as "Andy Keaton" on the mid-1980s TV show Family Ties and as “Preston Waters” in the 1994 Disney movie Blank Check. I’ve never seen Blank Check, but I looked it up and discovered that it actually performed fairly well, taking in $30 million in theatre ticket sales. What I remember Bonsall from was his role on Family Ties:

Family Ties was originally on the air from 1982-1989. It was a big hit up through the mid-1980s until its viewership started to fall off near the late 1980s as the show lost its edge. In an effort to shake things up, the producers added Bonsall to play Andy, the child in the Keaton family. As I recall, Andy was born in one episode in 1987 and then magically morphed into a 5-year-old during the subsequent episode. Unfortunately, Andy was an annoying little brat and his addition basically killed Family Ties, leading it to its cancellation in 1989.

Bonsall later achieved success with Blank Check and had bit roles in other TV shows and movies up until 1994 at which point he and his parents moved away from the Los Angeles area and his acting career ended. Bonsall has recently attempted to break back into the entertainment industry, this time as a musician. Bonsall joined a band called Late Bloomers in 1998 and is currently in a punk band called Thruster. There is a MySpace page for Thruster and as far as I can tell, the band has adopted a gay theme, as shown in the pictures below (Bonsall is the guy in the middle):

Bonsall has also gotten a several piercing and tattoos in an apparent effort to achieve a “punk look.” There are rumors of some turmoil in Bonsall’s life – according to the Internet Movie Database message board threads, Bonsall is addicted to crack cocaine. Bonsall was also arrested for drunk driving in 2004. All of this makes Brian Bonsall one washed-up celebrity!


UPDATE - April 1, 2007
Bonsall was arrested on March 28, 2007 on charges of assaulting his girlfriend. According to authorities, his girlfriend told police he poured an alcoholic drink on her face while she slept, put her in a choke hold and threw her onto a bed when she tried to leave. Bonsall told investigators he pushed the woman down in self-defense after she cut his arm and face with a steak knife, but she denied that, police said.

I also discovered a very unusual Brian Bonsall MySpace page that refers to Bonsall as "The Bonz." I initally thought that this must be a fake or parody MySpace page because it seems pretty odd and the login name is surprisingly "imthegayestmale," but as far as I can tell it is legit.

UPDATE - April 3, 2007
TMZ.com posted the 911 call from Bonsall's girlfriend.

UPDATE - September 1, 2007
According to TMZ.com, Brian Bonsall was sentenced to two years of probation on August 31, 2007 for his role in the alleged March 2007 assualt on his girlfriend. Bonsall has gone through a 30-day rehab program and claims to have been sober for five months. He and his girlfriend are back together and are currently in couples counseling.

UPDATE - December 8, 2009
Brian Bonsall was arrested on Monday, December 7, 2009 for an incident that supposedly took place during the previous Saturday. Bonsall is accused of hitting his best friend in the face with a broken stool. Bonsall claims that he had been drinking and didn't remember what happened. Bonsall has been charged with third-degree assault in connection with the Saturday incident and has also been charged for previously failing to appear in court in connection with his 2007 assault on his girlfriend as discussed above. Bonsall's newest mugshot is shown below.

Bonsall may not be the most washed-up former child star of his era (Dustin Diamond has laid claim to that title), but he may be the most "white trash" former child star of the past 25 years or so. I noticed that he has gotten a huge new tattoo on his neck since the last time he had a mugshot taken in 2007. He also looks like he could pass for someone in his late 30s. It's hard to believe that people used to think he was a cute kid!

Here are some additional photos of Bonsall that were linked in the comments below. Bonsall apparently enjoys wearing makeup/war paint on his face for some unknown reason. Also, it appears as though Bonsall may have a curly mullet in the photo on the right-hand side below.

Scott Schwartz

Scott Schwartz is a former child star best known for his role as "Flick" in the 1983 sleeper hit movie A Christmas Story. Most people might not remember the name "Scott Schwartz," but they probably remember his character from the movie. Flick was the character that licked a frozen flagpole on a dare and his tongue froze to the flagpole. If you've seen the movie, I'm sure you remember that scene, as it is probably the most memorable one in the movie.






Like many former child stars, puberty was very harsh on Schwartz and basically killed his career. Schwartz stopped growing shortly after he reached 5 feet in height (according to his MySpace page he is 5"2' tall). Desperate to make a buck in the entertainment world Schwartz turned to porn when no regular acting roles were available. He appeared in movies such as Beauty and the Beast 2 (1990), Scotty's X-rated Adventure (1996), New Wave Hookers 5 (1997), The Wrong Snatch (1997) and Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventures 35 & 36 (both 1997). He even won an AVN Award (the apparent porn equivalent to an Oscar) in 1997 for "Best Non-Sexual Performance" in Silver Screen Confidential (1996).
 

In 2000, he left the adult film industry entirely in an attempt to revive his career in mainstream movies, appearing in bit roles in crappy low-budget movies such as Skin Walker (2004) and Unseen Evil 2 (2004). He has also run a sports and movie memorabilia collectibles store with his father in Westlake Village, California since 1987.

Schwartz apparently likes to pretend that he is friends with sports celebrities. He posted pictures of himself with Barry Bonds and Hulk Hogan on his MySpace page. The caption for the Hogan picture indicates that Hogan is an "old friend." This, of course, begs the question - why is the Hulkster looking at Schwartz as though Schwartz is some kind of weirdo if Hogan really is an "old friend?"

At this point Schwartz's acting career is washed-up beyond all repair. He is a chubby and unattractive little shrimp and is becoming more and more obese every day, as one can clearly see in the pictures below. All of this makes Scott Schwartz one washed up celebrity!



*** Update - February 16, 2010 ***

I just discovered that Scott Schwartz was more involved in the porn business than I had initially realized. Not only did Schwartz act in porno movies, he was also an agent for porn stars. He wrote a letter to a porn website to discuss his dealing with a porn star named Anastasia Blue, who was a former client and had committed suicide years after he last represented her.