Zachery Ty Bryan

Zachery Ty Bryan is a former child star best known for his role as "Brad Taylor" for his role on the hit 1990s sitcom, Home Improvement.

Bryan was born on October 9, 1981 in Aurora, Colorado. He began his entertainment career appearing in print and television advertising. He later moved to California and was cast in 1991 in his break-through role as Brad Taylor on Home Improvement. Bryan was one of three child stars in the fictional Taylor family on Home Improvement. The other two were Jonathan Taylor Thomas (who played "Randy Taylor") and Taran Noah Smith (who played "Mark Taylor"). (Of the three child actors in the Taylor family, Bryan is the only one not hounded by homosexual rumors, despite what the picture on the lower right below might seem to imply.)





The Brad Taylor character was an athlethic-type kid who was also somewhat of a punk. He was also known for sporting a long mullet. During the first few seasons of Home Improvement, Brad and Randy would often gang up to make fun of their weirdo brother, Mark. Brad would also frequently act before thinking things through, causing him to often end up in trouble.

Home Improvement was a massive hit during its run from 1991-1998 and made Bryan a star and somewhat of a heartthrob. His role led to some subsequent roles in motion pictures, including roles in First Kid (1996), The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), and The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006). His most memorable movie scene is perhaps one from First Kid in which Sinbad fired an enormous spitball at him:



Although he has managed to act in a number of small roles ever since Home Improvement went off the air, it is clear that the demand for Bryan has diminished substantially over the years. Wearing see-through shirts such as the one shown below certainly cannot be helping his career prospects.

Bryan's personal life is apparently somewhat hectic. In April 2008 he was staying at a Choice Hotel in San Diego when he allegedly went across the street to grab a Gatorade. When he returned, the hotel employees refused to let Bryan go upstairs to his room because the room was not reserved in his name. The hotel employees appear to have been under the assumption that Bryan was some kind of homeless vagrant when he returned to the hotel.

Bryan claims that hotel employees refused to let Bryan call up to the room to speak with his wife. This refusal apparently caused Bryan to fly off into a rage. In response to Bryan's behavior, a hotel employee whipped out a taser gun and tased Bryan in his neck. Bryan is currently suing Choice Hotels for $25,000 as a result of this embarrassing incident.

Although Bryan has appeared on a hit sitcom, became the "Spitball Kid" in a major motion picture, and has acted in several additional roles over the years, the fact that hotel employees automatically assumed that he was a homeless vagrant speaks volumes. Accordingly, there can be no doubt that Zackary Ty Bryan is one washed up celebrity!

Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Jonathan Taylor Thomas is a former child star best known for his role as Randy Taylor on the hit 1990s TV sitcom Home Improvement. Thomas was one of three child actors in the Taylor family. The other two were fellow washed-up celebrities Taran Noah Smith and Tachary Ty Bryan. Thomas was the "heart-throb" of the three child stars. It is kind of funny because only in the fantasy world of a TV family would the shrimpy Thomas be a heart-throb. By the late 90s Smith and Bryan towered over the diminutive Thomas.


Thomas was well-known for having a perpetual tan. I always assumed that he must have been going to a tanning salon twice a week, but Thomas claimed that he tans very easily due to his Portuguese ancestry.

Like many child stars, Thomas let his fame on Home Improvement go to his head. In the late 90s Thomas either became sick of acting on Home Improvement or decided that the show was holding him back from bigger and better things. Thomas left after the 1998 season, missing the final season of Home Improvement. He reportedly told Tim Allen (who played his father on Home Improvement) that he was leaving so that he could attend college. In reality, however, he left to act in films. He appeared in the 1998 major motion picture I'll Be Home For Christmas. This film was supposed to be Thomas' big break into movies. Unfortunately for Thomas, however, the film was a critical and commercial failure. It cost about $30 million to make (not including marketing costs) but only garnered about $12 million in box office receipts.

Since his reign ended on Home Improvement ended and I'll Be Home For Christmas flopped, Thomas has struggled to find significant roles. He has only had bit roles in some minor movies and moderately successful TV shows such as 8 Simple Rules... for Dating My Teenage Daughter.

Thomas is the second of the Home Improvement former child stars widely rumored to be gay (or bisexual), the other being Taran Noah Smith. Thomas has not yet come out of the closet, although he did something just short of that by appearing on the cover of the gay magazine The Advocate.


At this point Thomas' acting career is pretty much over. There really isn't much demand for undersized male actors. I suppose he continue to try to hang on to what is left of his fleeting fame, like many former child stars, but his days as a big star are over. All of this makes Jonathan Taylor Thomas one washed-up celebrity!

Taran Noah Smith

Taran Noah Smith was a child actor playing the role of “Mark Taylor” on “Home Improvement” between 1991 and 1999. Home Improvement fans often couldn’t remember his real name, and instead affectionately referred to him as “the ugly kid on Home Improvement.”

He was only 7 years old when Home Improvement started. He looked a little bit dorky in his first years on the show but appeared to be normal on the surface. Here’s a picture of Taran in his youth:

Puberty, unfortunately, was not kind to Taran, as he started breaking out in acne and quickly grew tall and lanky to the point at which he was several inches taller than Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who played his older brother on the show. By the time Home Improvement finally went off the air in 1999, Smith was a really goofy-looking teenager. He also seemed to look more and more gay with each successive season of the show. Here are some pictures of Smith partying with several guys who appear to be flaming gay (I can only speculate as to what kind of hijinx were going on at their party):




In 2001, at age 17, he married Heidi Van Pelt, a 33-year-old woman (they are shown together in the first picture below). He also sued his parents for control of a $1.5 million trust fund created with his Home Improvement earnings that his parents were pilfering. It’s unclear as to whether Smith married Van Pelt to get away from his parents, cover up the fact that he’s gay, or whether he indeed feel in love with her. One thing that is certain, however, is that Smith is a grease-ball who hasn’t washed his face or hair since about 1989, as one can clearly in the second picture below which was taken in September 2005. Smith is dressed as though he’s going to a costume party – someone should tell him that he should wait until Halloween before dressing up as a freak and going out in public. All of this makes him one washed-up celebrity!



Update - July 17, 2007

Taran Noah Smith has become far more washed up than anyone could have ever predicted. It certainly seems as though Van Pelt was only after Smith's money, as his parents had initially warned him about. He and Van Pelt divorced on February 2, 2007 and he recently lost his house to foreclosure. It was reported that he and/or Van Pelt completely trashed his 4 bedroom/4 bath house located in the Los Angeles suburb of Sherman Oaks. Apparently the entire house reeks of the smell of "shit" and "piss," holes have been punched in the walls, and odd messages are spray painted all of the inside of the house. A real estate tear-sheet for teh house reads "Absolutely the worst house in a prime location," and the house is now on the market for a mere $1.149 million.

Smith's lawyer blamed the damage on his ex-wife, saying "You can thank his golddigging ex-wife for the debacle he's in."



Update - August 10, 2007

Smith was recently interviewed by the National Enquirer about his recent divorce. Smith said, "I guess I'm living proof that love is blind. I've lost my house, and now I'm fighting to stop my wife from taking my livelihood away from me. I'm done with older women."

Smith also mentioned that the reason he recently left his wife was because she announced she preferred girls to guys. He said the couple agreed to have an open marriage, yet when Taran found a steady girlfriend, his angry wife smashed every dish they owned.

Smith also said that "friends" were the ones who trashed his home in Sherman Oaks. Meanwhile, Taran has apologized to his parents. "I had to go back to them and say: 'I'm sorry. You were right about Heidi.'"

Update - February 1, 2012

Taran Noah Smith was arrested at around 1:00 A.M. on February 1, 2012 in Los Angeles County for a DUI and alleged possesion of marijuana. Smith was reportedly parked at an odd angle next to a fire hydrant in his 1998 Honda when a police officer decided to investigate and was overcome by the smell of marijuana emanating from Smith's car. It is unclear whether Smith was alone in his car at the time or whether any of his creepy party buddies shown in the pictures above were with him at the time.