Danny Cooksey

Danny Cooksey is a former child star perhaps best known for his role as "Sam McKinney" on the popular mid-1980s TV sitcom, Diff'rent Strokes.

Cooksey was born on November 2, 1975 in Moore, Oklahoma. Cooksey's mother moved with him to Los Angeles in 1980 to allow him to pursue a career in country music. His first acting role was in an episode of Dukes of Hazzard in 1983. Cooksey was later invited to audition for Diff'rent Strokes by an agent who saw one of Cooksey's performances.

Diff'rent Strokes was one of the top rated sitcoms between the late 1970s and early 1980s. The show centered on the crazy antics of Arnold Drummond (played by Gary Coleman), a young black boy who along with his brother Willis (played by Todd Bridges) was adopted by a rich white man who lived in a luxurious penthouse apartment in downtown New York City. Arnold was the star of the show for many years. However, by the mid-1980s the show's writers were running out of ideas and the show's viewership was flagging.

The writers initially tried to mix things up by showing an episode where Arnold's best friend Dudley (played by fellow washed-up celebrity Shavar Ross) was molested by a man who ran a bicycle repair shop. Molestation seemed to be a strange and deranged source of humor, but the writers were at their wit's end and needed something to increase viewership. However, the writers quickly realized that they couldn't have Dudley get molested in every single episode and that they would need a sustainable new "hook" to draw in viewers. The new hook was the addition of two new characters - Maggie McKinney, a middle-aged woman, and her young son, Sam McKinney. The McKinneys were added to the cast at the start of the seventh season when Maggie McKinney married Mr. Drummond and moved into the penthouse apartment with Sam.

Sam McKinney was an extremely unpopular character. Fans of Diff'rent Strokes hated Sam - he was extremely annoying and bratty. There was a notorious episode where Arnold and Sam were at a store and a deranged man, Don Brown, kidnapped Sam. The story line was that Mr. Brown's son had recently been killed and he wanted to replace his son with Sam. Mr. Brown convinced his own family that Sam was a homeless kid who they should adopt. Mr. Brown threatened to kill Sam's family if he tried to contact the police or run home. As shown in the image below, Mr. Brown used his large size to intimidate the diminutive Sam:

Casual observers of the show have noted the strong resemblance between Mr. Brown and professional wrestler Arn Anderson. I suspect that Sam was kidnapped while asking for an autograph. He probably threatened to kill Mr. Drummond with an atomic drop, spine buster, body slam, Boston Crab, or Cleveland Steamer.



Fans of Diff'rent Strokes were very happy when Sam was kidnapped because they assumed that he was being written off the show. Unfortunately, Sam was rescued when he telephoned Arnold and was able to provide the phone number from where he was calling. The police later picked him up. I thought that the conclusion of that episode was very unrealistic.

Sam was a bratty kid and I always thought that the more likely conclusion would have involved the kidnapper giving Sam up on his own. Sam was most likely a bed wetter until he was 13 years old and probably pissed his pants while sleeping at the home of his kidnappers. The kidnapper's entire house must have reeked of the smell of urine after a couple days. The stench probably would have been unbearable, leading the kidnapper to voluntarily give up Sam.

Cooksey's character helped run Diff'rent Strokes into the ground, leading to its cancellation in 1986, after the eighth season. After the cancellation of Diff'rent Strokes, Cooksey co-starred as Kevin Cavanaugh in the TV sitcom, The Cavanaughs from 1986-1989. Cooksey subsequently had a role in one of the most successful films of the 1990s, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, where he played the role, "ginger kid with mullet," a friend of star John Connor.






However, Cooksey's boyish looks faded when puberty hit and the demand for him in acting roles became practically non-existent. Cooksey has managed to keep busy over the years doing voice-over roles for crappy animated series and video games where he doesn't need to show his face. For example, he has had a speaking role in 24: The Game and in the cartoon, Xiaolin Showdown.

Cooksey has also ventured into music. He was the lead singer in the band Bad4Good in the early 1990s - that band released one CD, Refugee, in 1992. Here is a picture of his band. It appears as though they took this picture in order to appeal to pedophiles (Cooksey is on the far right in the photo):

Cooksey later participated in the bands Roadkill and Lucy's Milk. Cooksey is apparently a big fan of the Garfield comic strip because since 2004, he has been in a band called Arbuckle, which might be named after Jon Arbuckle, the owner of Garfield the cat in the comic strip.

Cooksey was a successful, albeit extremely annoying, child actor in the mid-1980s. However, once he boyish looks faded he was relegated to voice-over roles where he doesn't have to show his face. His career path has been somewhat similar, although not nearly as pathetic, as that of fellow ginger washed-up celebrity, Michael Oliver. For this and the other reasons discussed above, Danny Cooksey is one washed-up celebrity!

Carrot Top (Scott Thompson)

Carrot Top, born Scott Thompson on February 25, 1965 is a prop comedian well known for his various comedy appearances as colleges, his curly red hair, and his frequent appearances on TV shows and in commercials. Carrot Top spends fifteen weeks a year doing live performances in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand Casino and does over 100 shows a year on tour.

I actually saw Carrot Top's act when he visited my college in the mid-late 1990s. I don't remember if it was funny, although I concede that it may have been because I don't have negative memories of it. Back then, Carrot Top was very skinny and, of course, had his fruity curly red hairdo.




Carrot Top is unique among comedians in that his comedic material is focused almost entirely on the use of various props. His financial success had bred much jealous and dislike among fellow comedians, many of whom frequently trash him as being hack. Craig Kilborn, for example, was apparently very mean to Carrot Top during a 1999 appearance on The Daily Show. (It's strange that Craig Kilborn of all people would make fun of Carrot Top, because Kilborn's late night talk show totally sucked.)

In 1998 Carrot Top starred in the critically panned box office flop Chairman of the Board. The movie reportedly cost over $10 million to make, but only garnered $306,000 in box office receipts.

In 2001 Carrot Top took up bodybuilding and morphed from a scrawny little dork into a brawny effeminate fruit. Rumors abound that Carrot Top has been "juicing" his body with steroids. It really would not surprise me to find out that he is all juiced up on steroids, and possibly also on Human Growth Hormone (HGH), which causes one's entire skeletal structure to expand. Look at these pictures of a buff Carrot Top - something about his face looks very abnormal, and it's not just because he was ugly to begin with.

It is possible that Carrot Top isn't on HGH, but that bad plastic surgery is the source of his odd look. Rumors do abound about Carrot Top's alleged plastic surgery. There are also many rumors that Carrot Top is gay or bisexual. Based on the amount of mascara and eyeliner that Carrot Top is wearing in the picture below, I have to believe that Carrot Top does "play for the other team." Moreover, the unofficial Carrot Top message forum appears to be run by openly gay fans of Carrot Top.

Unlike many of the washed-up celebrities profiled on this website, Carrot Top has been very successful at what he does and claims to make $10 million per year. However, Carrot Top became washed up once he decided to become a body builder a few years ago. Therefore, for the reasons discussed above, Carrot Top is one washed up celebrity!

*** Update - September 27, 2007 ***

TMZ.com had this recent picture of Carrot Top posted on its website today. Carrot Top must be taking some crazy steroids or HGH, because his deltoids look very unnatural. I have been in many gyms over the years, yet I have never seen anyone with shoulder muscles that bulged out laterally like Carrot Top's:


*** Update - March 29, 2012 ***

I recently discovered this video clip of Carrot Top that was posted by TMZ in February 2012. In this clip Carrot Top looks much smaller and no longer has the physique of a bodybuilder. Carrot Top claimed that he stopped lifting and currently only does cardio workouts. One has to wonder whether Carrot Top had a health scare that forced him to give up weightlifting "supplements"...

Emily Schulman

Emily Schulman , born August 17, 1977, is a former child star best known for her role as Harriet Brindle on the mid-late 1980s syndicated sitcom, Small Wonder. Harriet was the annoying neighbor of Jamie Lawson (played by fellow washed-up celebrity Jerry Supiran).



Harriet was one of the most annoying characters in television history. She was the "Screech" of Small Wonder, never saying anything funny and just serving to annoy everyone. (Harriet even wore Converse high-tops, just like Screech!) Her annoyingness notwithstanding, I will admit that some funny moments did occur when she would come to Jamie's kitchen door to see him and then he would slam the door right in her face.

Schulman somehow managed to land some other decent roles after the 1988 cancellation of Small Wonder, usually as an annoying little girl. She had roles in the motion picture Troop Beverly Hills, and small roles on TV shows such as ALF, The Wonder Years, and an ABC Afterschool Special. In 1995 she landed a major role in the drama Christy. (I have to admit I had never ever heard of Christy until I looked at Schulman's IMDB bio, although it must have been a fairly sucessful show.)

Schulman has not landed any roles since the cancellation of Christy. When acting roles dried up, Schulman became a theatrical agent and current works for the ACME Talent Agency in Los Angeles.

Schulman was never a cute kid on Small Wonder and the 19 years since the show was cancelled have not been kind, as Father Time has been giving her a good ass kicking. She did, however, marry a guy named Derek Webster a few years ago. Here is a picture from her wedding:

It's probably a good thing that she switched from acting to being an agent, because she easily looks a good 10 years older than her actual age of 29 and kind of resembles a witch in the picture on the lower right-hand side.





For the reasons discussed above, Emily Schulman is one washed-up celebrity!

Michael Oliver

Michael Oliver is the first washed up celebrity I will review. You may remember Oliver as the child actor who played "Junior" in the early 90s movies "Problem Child" and "Problem Child 2." This is a picture of Oliver from his Problem Child days:

I would have thought that Oliver would have parlayed his early starring roles into other movie roles or perhaps even a recurring role on a sitcom. However, Oliver has not had any decent roles since his Problem Child days. He is currently a roadie for the band, The Samples, and apparently spends a good portion of his time posting on the Internet Movie Database message boards under the login "Roadiepc." He has also grown his hair long and occasionally sports a long mullet as shown in his pictures below (in case you are wondering, he verified that these are pictures of him in his message board postings). All of this makes him one washed-up celebrity!

***Update - May 28, 2007 ***
I just discovered some information that might explain why Michael Oliver is so incredibly washed up. Apparently he had a contractual obligation with Universal Pictures to act in Problem Child 2 for $80,000 back in 1991. However, a mere few days before filming was to begin Michael's mother demanded $500,000 for his role in the movie or he would walk away. Universal Pictures had already spent a lot of money on pre-production and felt obligated to do whatever was necessary to keep Michael in the movie or it would lose around $4,000,000 on outlays that had already been made.

In 1993 Universal sued Michael for $190,000 for basically extorting the money from Universal, which had agreed to pay the money to Michael under duress. Universal Pictures won its court case after a trial and Michael had to return the extorted money!


***Update - January 1, 2008 ***
Michael Oliver used to have a bio listed on the website for The Samples that mentioned that he is a "Highly evolved old soul with a love of his lady and a passion for swords." Here is a picture of Oliver that was linked in the comments to this post. I guess that Oliver must enjoy swordfights!

*** Update - February 21, 2008 ***

Someone posted a link in the comments below to this apparently gay parody Michael Oliver blog: Gay Appreciation for Michael Oliver. My favorite post on that blog is one where someone wrote:

"Someone told me that they were at a Samples show and Micheal walked by him and he stunk of B.O. Does he have problems or is that just part of touring on the road with a band? He said he could smell his balls and ass from where he was standing."

*** Update - July 1, 2008 ***

A link to this recent picture of Michael Oliver was posted as a comment below. As one can see, Oliver appears to have cut his hair short at least on the sides. It appears as though he may have also kept the hair on top of his head long and pulled it back. Finally, he's either sitting in front of a tree or his red mullet is flaring out at the sides by his neck!

*** Update - December 27, 2009 ***

Links to the following pictures of Michael Oliver were posted in comments below. An anonymous commenter claims that the girl in these photos is Michael Oliver's girlfriend. The woman in the photos below is definitely attractive, so it is perplexing that she is standing next to Oliver. I have to assume that the reason why she is in these photos with Oliver is one of the following: (a) she has a freaky ginger mullet fetish; (b) he paid her to be in the photos with him; (c) he photoshopped her into a photo where he was standing by himself; (d) that truly is his girlfriend. We may never know her true motivation for being photographed with Oliver.

*** Update - April 10, 2011 ***

I recently discovered this video clip of Michael Oliver rambling on and on about religion as he explains why he is a Buddhist. He shows off his massive forehead and ginger mullet (or possibly long hair in a ponytail) in this clip:



*** Update - November 14, 2012 *** 

 I recently discovered a video clip of a recent interview that Michael Oliver gave where he discussed his experiences as a child star on the movie set. Several of his former co-stars are also interviewed in this clip.  Michael has apparently chopped off his long mullet as shown in the interview.

*** Unfortunately, the video was deleted from YouTube, so I had to remove the corresponding link here. ***