Dustin Diamond (2000 - Present)

Dustin Diamond has experienced much turmoil in his own life ever since Saved By The Bell: The New Class was canceled in 2000. Diamond has declared bankruptcy, dealt with harassment both on the Internet and in the mainstream media, participated in a Celebrity Boxing match, participated in an unpopular band, become a ridiculed stand-up comedian, lied about being married, almost lost a house due to foreclosure, been assaulted over video games, made a sex tape, and become a total fat ass with an oily Jewish afro (“Jew-fro”).

I. Bankruptcy

Diamond declared bankruptcy in 2000, around the time that Saved By The Bell: The New Class went off the air. Diamond claims he earned about $2,000,000 acting as Screech on the various Saved By The Bell shows. However, he quickly pissed away all of his earnings and blames his parents for stealing the money. Despite Diamond's claims to the contrary, his parents cannot possibly be entirely to blame, as Diamond was 23 when the show went off the air and had been old enough to entirely control his earnings for several years at that point.

II. Dustindiamond.com Parody Website

In 2001 Max Goldberg, creator of YTMND.com, created dustindiamond.com. The website is a parody and when one enters the website a loud MIDI file of the SBTB theme song is played and sees the outrageous claim that Diamond is a “famous superstar and sex symbol.” Many of the words on the website, including Diamond's own name, are misspelled and this horribly dated picture of Diamond from his Screech days is shown:



The website includes an un-moderated guestbook where "fans" post perverted gay stories about Screech and make fun of him. Most of the stories involve gay fantasies about Screech being violated by Mr. Belding, A.C. Slater, and Mr. Tuttle at Bayside and on a rowdy Saved By The Bell set.

Such stories clearly angered Diamond and in 2003 or early 2004 Diamond hired a lawyer in an effort to acquire possession of the domain name from Goldberg. Goldberg refused to give up possession, and Diamond submitted a brief to the Uniform Domain-Name Dispute-Resolution arbitration board alleging that Goldberg had registered the domain name in "bad faith" and was infringing Diamond's trademark. The trademark infringement allegation was without merit - Goldberg sells nothing on dustindiamond.com and there was therefore no trademark infringement on his part. With respect to the "bad faith" argument, Diamond failed to prove existence of bad faith and the arbitration board ruled that the website was protected under the 1st Amendment as a free speech parody website because Diamond is a public figure.

Goldberg’s brief is actually pretty funny. In it, Goldberg mentions that Diamond is suffering from as case of “has-been-itis.” Goldberg also argued that the website is clearly a parody and wrote:

“Why would the real Dustin Diamond misspell his own name? Why would he refer to himself as a “FAMOUS SUPERSTAR AND SEX SYMBOL” when he is clearly neither? Mr. Diamond’s fame ended when the myriad “Saved by the Bell” spin-off shows failed to gain an audience, and his public persona has consistently been the opposite of a sex symbol. His “Screech” character is a stereotypically asexual geek, and Mr. Diamond’s subsequent attempts to revive his show-business career have portrayed him in a similar light, notwithstanding his recent cultivation of facial stubble. By making such over-the-top claims about Mr. Diamond’s celebrity and sexual charisma, the site clearly signals that it is a humorous work not intended to be taken seriously.”

After winning his case, Goldberg issued a press release and has maintained the website ever since, undoubtedly infuriating Diamond.

III. Diamond’s Attempt At Standup Comedy

Diamond has attempted to reinvent himself as a comedian over the past few years. A substantial portion of Diamond's standup routine including him talking about his penis and how Zack and Slater were gay and Screech was actually a stud. Diamond's standup routine has been described as "terrible," "raunchy," "offensive," and "utter crap."

The following comments are from people who have attended Diamond's stand-up act and they concisely sum up a typical audience's view of Diamond's stand-up comedy:

I think he was trying to make jokes, but no one was really listening. I think everyone was just there to stare and go, "wow, that guy's career is washed up."
...
"He definitely lived up to his disclosure he offered at the beginning of his performance in which he said "'fuck off' to any one who might be offended by his comments, I walked out after 10 minutes it was so horrible and unentertaining."

Many up-and-coming standup comedians hate Diamond, including Tim Homayoon, Bill Blank, and Slade Ham. Those guys think that Screech is an unfunny joke thief. Several standup comedians also created Screechsucks.com to express their disdain for Diamond. Here is an image from the Screechsucks website:


IV. Harassment Of Diamond

In 2000 Saturday Night Live performed an Inside the Actor's Studio skit where Tobey Maguire played Screech. The skit was very well-received and portrayed Diamond as a complete dork and loser in real-life.

In 2002 Diamond went on the Opie and Anthony Show to promote an upcoming standup comedy gig in New York and was subjected to harassment by the hosts and various callers. One caller who called himself "Frenchie," said that Diamond was a "has-been," "a gay F," and that his "F'ing show sucked." He also said, "about 10 people are going to show up tonight and then you're going to go out outside and kill yourself." Diamond's appearance on the show was voted the second-worst of all time, the number one worst appearance being a guest who makes balloon animals.

Diamond's harassment is not limited to the media - he has also been harassed in real life. He moved to Wisconsin in 2001 and has called the police several times to report harassment. He claims that people drive past his home at all hours of the night, honking their horns, yelling, and throwing garbage on his lawn.

Such harassment has run wild on the Internet, as Diamond has been subjected to substantial abuse. As if the Dustindiamond.com website and Screechsucks.com weren't enough, there is also an inordinate number of websites devoted to flaming Diamond and questioning his sexuality, including the Dustin Diamond Love Hate Forum, the Dustin Diamond Queer Fantasies Blog, the Queers Unite for Dustin Diamond Blog, Ox's "Remember When" Blog, and the Dner Collection Blog.

Diamond has also been subjected to numerous comedic drawings, such as this image depicting Diamond as the illegitimate son of ruthless Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi:

V. Celebrity Boxing

In 2002 Diamond participated in a Celebrity Boxing special on FOX. Celebrity Boxing was a programming event where FOX pitted washed-up celebrities against each other in real boxing matches. For example, in one of the matches Vanilla Ice fought Todd Bridges. In Diamond's case, he fought the much smaller and older Ron Palillo who played "Horshack" on the 1970s sitcom Welcome Back Kotter. FOX billed the bout as a match between Screech and Horshack who would "dork it up" in the ring.

Diamond actually performed well in the bout. This was not surprising seeing as how he was about 28 year younger, 50 pounds heavier, and 6 inches taller than Palillo. Diamond beat Palillo pretty badly, giving Palillo a big black eye. After winning the bout Diamond danced around the ring with his arms raised as though he were Muhammed Ali or something, angering many fans of Celebrity Boxing.

VI. Salty The Pocketknife

Diamond decided to branch out into music in 2001 when he joined the group "Salty The Pocketknife" with fellow band members Evan Stone and Rosebud, the band's lead singer who looks like a transvestite. Diamond played bass guitar in the band. The band's best hits include the homoerotic hits "Red Panties," "Rim Goblin," and "Pissin Outside." Not surprisingly, the band was a critical failure and eventually broke up shortly after releasing their album, which is ranked at about #250,000 on the Amazon.com album sales list.


VII. Diamond's "Fake" Wife And Other Lies About Women

In 2005 Diamond and his alleged wife Jennifer were interviewed by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. During the interview Diamond and Jennifer mentioned that they were married and even stated that the specific date on which they became married was November 5, 2003. Diamond said that they met at an Arby's in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania while Diamond was in town for a standup gig. Apparently Jennifer was ordering a Beef 'n Cheddar sandwich and they struck up a conversation.





However, when Diamond was on the Howard Stern Show in June 2006 he mentioned that Jennifer was his "fiancée" and that they were not yet married. A few months later Diamond and Jennifer made an appearance on the Tyra Banks Show and Diamond referred to Jennifer has his "girlfriend," not his wife or fiancée.

These inconsistencies are perplexing and Diamond has provided no explanation for them. The really odd thing is the fact that Diamond mentioned a specific date on which he was married in the article when he was not, in fact, married. This is just one of many lies Diamond has told in recent years.

Diamond has also lied about how much success he has with women. In 2000 Diamond made an appearance on the Howard Stern Show. This is an excerpt from an unofficial transcript from his that appearance:

Howard also heard that Dustin has a hard time getting laid even though he's fairly famous. Dustin said that's true but he has had some conquests that he's proud of. He said he first had sex at 15 and he got a lot of the extras on the set of ''Saved by the Bell''. He tried getting some of his co-stars but it never happened for him.

However, Diamond now claims that he's had sex with 400 women. He also now claims that he consciously chose not to date his co-stars (as though that was his choice).

Another lie Diamond has told recently is that his penis is 10 inches long. He mentioned this on the Howard Stern Shown in June 2006. He claimed that rumors about this have been floating around the Internet for some time now. It's odd, however, because I never heard of it before Diamond mentioned it himself, leading me to believe that he made up this rumor himself. He also claimed that his manhood touches the toilet water every time he goes to the bathroom. ***EDIT - Howard Stern watched Diamond's porn movie (discussed below in Section X) in November 2006 and stated that there is absolutely no truth behind Diamond's claim that he has 10-inch penis.***

VIII. Diamond's Mortgage Problems

In June 2006 Diamond went public with his alleged mortgage problems. He claimed that he entered into a land contract when he moved to Milwaukee in 2001 and was about to lose his house unless he paid $250,000 within 30 days to the person with whom he had the land contract. It is possible that Diamond entered into this land contract because he declared bankruptcy in 2001 and would not have been able to obtain a conventional mortgage. Diamond went on the Howard Stern Show to practically beg former Saved By The Bell fans to buy shirts to save his house.

Diamond created a website and began selling "D-Shirts" for $15-20 apiece. Diamond claimed that he had paid all of his required $2400 mortgage payments since entering into the land contract but was still about to be evicted. However, the Journal-Sentinel later discovered that Diamond was at least 5 months behind in his mortgage payments.





Diamond and Jennifer were supposed to appear in an online telethon with ManiaTV.com, an Internet-based TV station, to raise money for their house but were nixed at the last minute by the TV station when the station discovered that the whole mortgage issue might be nothing more than a fraudulent scam. Diamond also took money from many people without ever bothering to send them the shirts they ordered.

As of January 2007 Diamond has still not yet been evicted from his house (as far as I know), even though he mentioned that he had only 30 days to raise the $250,000 to pay off the mortgage back in June 2006 when he put up his D-Shirts website.

IX. Assault Over PlayStation Games

Diamond made an appearance on a Tampa radio station in August 2006 and mentioned that he was assaulted by a woman who stole his PlayStation games. According to Diamond's account, a woman, armed with mace, busted into his hotel room at around 2:00 AM in the morning and apparently was only able get away with the games, which Diamond was able to recover. Supposedly the games she took were Donkey Kong and Ms. Pac-Man. Diamond claims that he pinned her against the door and she cried out "rape." I'm not sure if any charges were ever brought, but it certainly sounds like a deal with a hooker that turned sour.

X. Diamond's Sex Tape

In late 2006 Diamond publicly issued a statement in which he claimed that he had filmed a sexual encounter with two women at a hotel back in 2002. Diamond claimed that he and his friends had some kind of arrangement whereby they would each tape their own sexual encounters and receive a certain number of points based on the sexual moves performed. Diamond claimed that in his tape he gave one of the girls a "Dirty Sanchez."

A news article read as follows "David Hans Schmidt, the agent who’s now selling the rights to the tape, tells TMZ that the two women are from the heart of the Midwest and in their early 20’s. One is blond, the other a rather striking brunette."

This is the pervert who is selling rights to the Diamond tape:


Apparently Diamond's sex tape is now ready for sale. However, neither of the women on the cover are "rather striking;" instead, they are both obese hogs as you can clearly see in this picture below. I have heard that each of these women have fat rolls - "more rolls than a bakery."

 

When the story of the existence of the sex tape was first reported, Diamond claimed that someone stole the tape and was selling it. Diamond claimed that he wanted to stop its distribution but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. He's been going on various talk shows and badmouthing David Hans Schmidt. Schmidt has apparently had enough of the abuse and recently reported that Diamond came to him with the tape and has been a willing participant in its distribution. Schmidt also claims that he's heard that Diamond might not even be the person on the tape. ***EDIT - Despite his initial denials, Diamond now admits that he was in the the sex tape's distribution from the beginning. (No surprise there!)***
I have not seen the tape and have no desire to do so. However, I have heard that if Diamond does, in fact, appear on the tape it proves Diamond's claims about the gigantic size of his penis to be just another in a long string of lies Diamond has told recently.

XI. Letting Himself Go

Diamond was very skinny when he played the dorky Screech in the 1990s. However, ever since Saved By The Bell was cancelled, he's really let himself go. He must have gained 50-75 lbs. He looks like a total fat-ass with an oily Jew-Fro and uneven goatee in the pictures below:


Diamond clearly has no sense of fashion as is painfully obvious when looking at the photos below. In the one on the left, Diamond appears to be wearing a shirt made from old hotel draperies. In the one on the right, Diamond's shiny pink shirt looks really fruity:


The picture below is one of my favorite pictures of Diamond. This was posted on a Myspace account and was apparently taken at breakfast time. The funny thing is that Diamond is scarfing down greasy onion rings for breakfast and couldn't care less about the girls in the photo with him:


XII. Conclusion

Diamond should have thanked his lucky stars that he was able to make so much money as a child star, seeing as how he isn’t good-looking, funny, and is completely devoid of comedic talent or acting ability. Unfortunately, Diamond didn’t save his money and has been typecast as a stereotypical nerd. He is a smug and bitter young man shows complete disdain for fans of Saved By The Bell. For this and the reasons discussed above, Diamond is one hell of a washed up celebrity!

* Don't forget to look at Dustin Diamond – The Early Years, Dustin Diamond (2007 Celebrity Fit Club Appearance), and Dustin Diamond - (2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp Appearance).

XIII. Additional Anti-Diamond Media

Here are some of the most anti-Diamond websites that I found while researching Diamond:

Screech Deserves To Die
Garrett's Anti-Screech Page
Screech's Sex Tape Follies
Diamond In The Rough
Screech Comes To Tavern
Shitty Celebrities: Dustin Diamond
MTV VJ Kennedy's blog about a 1993 date with Diamond

XIV. Updates

March 22, 2007 - Diamond will soon appear on the fifth season of Celebrity Fit Club (episodes of the show are scheduled to appear at the end of April 2007). The footage used in the episodes was taped several months ago. As was originally reported by Perez Hilton and TMZ back in January 2007, Diamond got into an altercation with Kimberly Locke, one of the other contestants. Diamond allegedly threatened to "make a dildo of my cock and fuck" former "American Idol" star Kimberly Locke with "it" during a heated on-set altercation. It was further reported that after the outburst Locke, along with almost every member of the cast, including 80's pop star Tiffany, rap star Warren G and "Brady Bunch" star Maureen "Marcia" McCormick all stormed off the set.

Diamond later claimed that he never threatened to sexually assault Kimberly Locke and merely said that he was going to give her a mold of his penis because she "needs one."

I'm not sure exactly what happened, but it seemes pretty clear that Diamond managed to piss off quite a few people on the Celebrity Fit club set. The show's host, comedian Ant, was recently on the Howard Stern Show and said:

Ant announced "Celebrity Fit Club 5" premiered next month, and that Dustin Diamond was one of the stars on it. Ant then reported Dustin claimed he was going to make a mold of his penis and have Howard help him sell it, but Howard revealed that was the first he'd heard of the plan. Ant noted that everyone on the show "hated Dustin," and thought the police were almost called at one point because of Dustin's behavior. When Ant also said Dustin "dropped Howard’s name constantly," Howard replied he'd met Dustin twice through the show, but never spoke to him other than those times.

June 29, 2007 - I found this copy of Dustin Diamond's resume. His resume lists several "Special Skills," including: Chess Expert, Professional Wrestler, Drivers License, Professional Musician, and Martial Arts Expert. It's unclear to me as to why the mere possession of a Driver's License is a "special skill." He also lists himself as a co-star of the movies Dickie Roberts and Made even though he had less than one minute of screen time in both!

August 3, 2008 - Diamond recently announced that he is writing a tell-all book about his time on "Saved By The Bell." The name of the book is scheduled to be called, "Behind the Bell." Diamond claims that the book will detail "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying." I guess that Diamond is going to continue to free-ride off the Screech character as long as he possibly can!

January 16, 2009 - Diamond was recently photographed at a bar while sporting a brand new hairdo. He looks like the retarded twin of Weird Al Yankovic!


April 18, 2009 - Diamond is apparently broke and thinks he shouldn't have to pay his bills. His electric company, WE Energies, has filed suit against him for nonpayment of more than $2,000 in electric bills accrued at his house in Port Washington, WI. Will Diamond ever get any publicity for doing something good?

August 1, 2009 - Most of the Saved By The Bell gang reunited for a photo shoot for People magazine. Noticeably absent were Diamond and Dennis Haskins! According to various sources, the "main actors" would only agree to the photo shoot on the condition that Diamond and the "creepy" Dennis Haskins were excluded.

Here is a photo of the People magazine cover. The magazine also included an older photo of the cast and cropped out Diamond's body, as shown in the photo on the right below!



September 11, 2009 - Diamond has been sued for back property taxes and his car was recently repossessed! Diamond reportedly owes at least $21,000 in property taxes on his house. His 2005 Ford Expedition was repossessed after he failed to make at least $544 in payments on the automobile.

October 1, 2009 - Diamond's tell-all book, Behind the Bell, has been released and has been nearly universally derided as being a crappy book. Although Diamond had previously promised to reveal lurid stories of drug abuse and sex occurring on the rowdy Saved By The Bell set, the book is seemingly short on facts and long on innuendo. Regarding drug use, Diamond claims to have smelled smoke coming from one of the dressing rooms on the set, although he wasn't positive about the source of the smoke. Diamond also claims that Mark-Paul Gosselaar admitted to using steroids prior to Saved By The Bell: the College Years in order to bulk up and put on 25 lbs of muscle.

He also alleged that Tiffani Amber Theissen and Elizabeth Berkeley had the hots for Mario Lopez and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, which isn't surprising to anyone. I bet that Diamond is still hurt after all these years because none of the regulars on the show wanted to make out with him! However, Diamond does make the ridiculous and entirely unbelievable claim that he has slept with 2,000 women.

Diamond has been promoting the book on various talk shows. In the book, Diamond claims that a female extra on Saved By The Bell upset him and he got even with her by pissing in her purse! Diamond also claimed that Mario Lopez developed "man boobs" on Saved By The Bell and may have had plastic surgery to fix his chest.

Diamond also claimed that executive producer Peter Engel would have bisexual threesomes with Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani Amber Theisen in Engel's office!

October 11, 2010 - TMZ has reported that Wells Fargo has filed the necessary paperwork to foreclose on Diamond's house in Port Washington, WI. Diamond faced an earlier imminent foreclose back in 2006 when he owed $250,000 on his mortgage, prompting him to offer t-shirts on a website to raise money. As discussed above and on the "Dustin Diamond Is a Dick" website, Diamond took money from many different people but failed to deliver a number of the shirts, angering his now former fans.

However, Diamond apparently didn't use much of that ill-gotten t-shirt money to pay down his mortgage, as he now currently owes at least $278,000 on his mortgage. Perhaps this is the end of the line for Diamond - will he finally have to obtain a real job like the rest of us? I doubt he has what it takes to work 40 hours a week in an office job...

March 3, 2011 - Dustin Diamond has apparently been editing his own Wikipedia entry. Someone accessed Wikipedia from IP address 75.86.245.159 and edited the entry, adding the comment, "(I have altered the majority of this page's info as I am the real Dustin Diamond and know my own life)."

The person claiming to be Diamond deleted a reference to Diamond 2001 chess video and heavily editing the portion of the entry discussing his appearance on Celebrity Fit Club. Diamond claims that he came across as "the ultimate 'bad boy'" on Celebrity Fit Club. This, of course, is in contrast to popular opinion, which has viewed him as a complete asshole based on his appearance on the show.

Diamond also heavily redacted the references to the dustindiamond.com domain dispute - I have to assume that Diamond is embarrassed about the outcome of that ICANN arbitration and is hoping that people will eventually forget that the domain ever existed.

Diamond further deleted all references to his t-shirt scam, housing foreclosure, repossessed automobile, unpaid utility bills, and back taxes he owes to the state of Wisconsin.

Diamond also changed the portion of his Wikipedia entry relating to the sex tape that he heavily promoted during his appearance on Celebrity Fit Club. Diamond admitted that the sex tape was a sham and that he didn't actually have sex with either of the fat chicks in the video. Diamond editted the sex tape portion to recite:

On November 13, 2006, Diamond's sex tape ''Screeched,'' was released as a publicity stunt to create a little more controversy following Fit Club. As with his "bad boy" image on fit club, Diamond was portrayed much more harshly in the public eye than was intended. In typical Diamond fashion, and always a huge fan of dark comedy, Dustin used a stand-in for all explicit scenes. The fallout was much more than he bargained for and many still believe this to be real... it is not.

Diamond's edits to his Wikipedia entry prove yet again that he is one washed-up celebrity!

 April 30, 2014 - Many of the old posts from the now-defunct guestbook at www.dustindiamond.com have been compiled and posted to a blog entitled "Dustindiamond.com Guestbook Archive"


December 26, 2014 - Dustin Diamond was arrested early this morning for pulling out a switchblade and stabbing a man after getting into an argument late Christmas evening that quickly escalated.  According to TMZ, the bar owner claims the altercation was over pictures that the man was taking of Diamond .  The victim reportedly suffered a 1/2 inch wound under his armpit and bled heavily.  Dustin was pulled over by the police with his girlfriend in his car not long after, and the knife was found in his care. Dustin's girlfriend was also reportedly booked on a disorderly conduct charge.   

TMZ posted this mug shot of Diamond:

This story proves once again that Diamond is a washed-up celebrity!  In recent years, Diamond has claimed to be married, although that story is obviously false if the woman Diamond claims to be his wife is instead merely his "girlfriend," as TMZ reports.  So this may be yet another of Diamond's many lies...

This also may not have been the first time Diamond pulled a knife of someone.  Back in 2004, an interview was posted with Diamond where he discussed an incident in which he allegedly pulled a knife on former Saved By The Bell: The New Class castmate Spankee Rodgers!

June 25, 2015 - Dustin Diamond was convicted of two misdemeanors, carrying a concealed weapon and disorderly conduct. He was sentenced to 120 days in prison and ordered to pay more than $1000 in restitution to "send a message to the community that we're just not going to live like this."

 

February 2, 2021 - Dustin Diamond died from Stage 4 lung cancer on February 1, 2021.  Sadly, he died at the young age of 44 mere weeks after being diagnosed with cancer.  He was reportedly in negotiations to appear in the second season of the Saved By The Bell reboot series on Peacock.  

 

R.I.P. Dustin Diamond.